무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What can the society/government do to ensure or strengthen children safety in school/academies?

작성자: 문*현
2025-02-12 454

회원님의 영작문

There must be new regulations which include yearly psychiatric checks for any staff member working in the school and deploying more armored security guards. South Korean’s students are protected with student right which protect student from violence, discrimination and corporal behavior but these rights can be protected under well-functioning school. The suspects were allowed to work in school even though she showed violent behavior to other teachers. The only action that the school took was to make her sit next to principle and ban her from teaching students. If there had been thorough mental assessments of banning the problematic staff members to school, the incident might have been prevented. Also, there was no safety staff prohibiting a victim student from following the teacher. In US where gun violence is prevalent, the school security guards are armored, and they are large numbered. However, in Korea there are few security guards are most of them are deployed in the entrance.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel! Have a good  day ahead.

There must be new regulations which include yearly psychiatric checks for any staff member working in the school and deploying more armored security guards. 
>>> correct  
South Korean’s students are protected with student right which protect student from violence, discrimination and corporal behavior but these rights can be protected under well-functioning school. 
>>> South Korea’s students are protected with student rights which are to protect student from violence, discrimination and corporal behavior but these rights can be protected under well-functioning school.   
>>> OR: South Korean students are protected with student rights which are to protect student from violence, discrimination and corporal behavior but these rights can be protected under well-functioning school.   
The suspects were allowed to work in school even though she showed violent behavior to other teachers. 
>>>  The suspect was allowed to work in school even though she showed violent behavior to other teachers. 
>>>  OR: The suspect was allowed to work in school even though she exhibited violent behaviors towards other teachers. 
The only action that the school took was to make her sit next to principle and ban her from teaching students. 
>>> The only action that the school took was to make her sit next to the principal and banned her from teaching students.   
If there had been thorough mental assessments of banning the problematic staff members to school, the incident might have been prevented.
>>>  If there had been thorough mental assessments of banning the problematic staff members to work in the school, the incident might have been prevented. 
Also, there was no safety staff prohibiting a victim student from following the teacher. 
>>>  Also, there was no security staff to have helped prevent the victim student from following the teacher.  
In US where gun violence is prevalent, the school security guards are armored, and they are large numbered. 
>>>  In the US where gun violence is prevalent, the school security guards are armored, and they are large in number.  
However, in Korea there are few security guards are most of them are deployed in the entrance.
>>> However, in Korea there are few security guards and most of them are stationed at the entrance. 
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142200 What\'s your ideal Korean New Year? Explain? 차*혁 완료 2025-01-28 627
142199 Do you think traditions should be preserved and maintained? 문*현 완료 2025-01-27 1172
142198 Homework 오*봄 완료 2025-01-27 1
142197 When something needs fixing or changing in your house, do you do... 진*호 완료 2025-01-27 0
142196 Homework 이*민 완료 2025-01-27 586
142195 How can transportation options be convenient or inconvenient? 진*호 완료 2025-01-27 2
142194 What’s your favorite place to visit downtown? 진*호 완료 2025-01-27 2
142193 My best dream is getting a laptop as my birthday gift from my... 유*빈 완료 2025-01-27 577
142192 My children ride ski the first time. 조*진 완료 2025-01-27 648
142191 1/24 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-01-27 1
142190 What do you think of \"hand-me-down\" clothing? Will you wear... 이*준 완료 2025-01-27 518
142189 The purpose of education 한*원 완료 2025-01-27 717
142188 Homework & Question 이*주 완료 2025-01-26 716
142187 Homework 김*우 완료 2025-01-26 1
142186 Does your country have a special food for any of the seasons?... 조*명 완료 2025-01-26 5
142185 Homework 이*도 완료 2025-01-26 681
142184 What\'s your thoughts on boys cooking? 차*혁 완료 2025-01-26 739
142183 Give me five sentences using the word \'kindly\'. 진*호 완료 2025-01-26 2
142182 How do you usually tell people about your plans? 진*호 완료 2025-01-26 2
142181 I think it\'s a good way to promote Korean culture. 윤*혜 완료 2025-01-24 880

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]