¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does it need to go to school before the age of seven?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿ø
2025-02-11 160

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In modern society, I don't think children need to go to school before the age of seven, because they attend childcare institutions such as kindergartens at an earlier age. Childcare institutions like kindergartens are also places where children can experience group life and receive an education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Rachel!

Your use of language is sophisticated, with varied sentence structures that enhance the overall flow. Your vocabulary is precise and contributes to the clarity. Keep it up!

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

In modern society, I don't think children need to go to school before the age of seven, because they attend childcare institutions such as kindergartens at an earlier age.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Childcare institutions like kindergartens are also places where children can experience group life and receive an education.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142029 1/16 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-17 1
142028 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-17 306
142027 Advertising ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-17 332
142026 leader\'s dignity ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-17 260
142025 Do you think action movies influence people to commit crimes? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 284
142024 Which is the best decision, marrying at a young age or marrying... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 249
142023 Homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 0
142022 Homework ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 1
142021 Do you think reading comic strip is good for kids? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 222
142020 homwork ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 217
142019 Homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 218
142018 The homework of 16th Jan. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 293
142017 choosing to stay at home ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 261
142016 Why young people start drugs easily ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 1
142015 Why do some people handle waiting better than others? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 258
142014 What does a holiday mean to you? À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 309
142013 Describe a custom in my country À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 308
142012 How should someone who committed a crime for some good cause be... À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 260
142011 Homework! À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 315
142010 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04