¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework1

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2025-02-11 306

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing. When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain. We could see a lot of stars there. Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky." When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view. I was really impressive even I was a child. After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now. Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club. I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever. At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope. It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon^^
Thank you for sharing your answer. 
It seems like those two things are the biggest part of your life these days. 
_T. SHAY^^
***

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing.
>>Correct
OR: Stargazing is another thing that I'm interested in.

When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
>>When I was young, I once went to my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
We could see a lot of stars there. 
>>Correct
OR: That place is a good place to see many stars at night.
Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky."
>>Once my dad told me at night, "Just come out and look at the sky.'
When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
>>
When I was looking up at the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
I was really impressive even I was a child.
>>I was really impressed even as a child.
After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now.
>>Correct
OR: I've been interested in stargazing ever since then.
Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club.
>>
Also, at my university stargazing club, I learned how to use a telescope to see the stars.
I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever.
>>
I used to stargaze with my club member, and it's one of the best experiences in my life ever.
At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope.
>>
At this time, even though I'm busy studying and no time for stargazing with a telescope, sometimes I look up at the clear sky at night and just gaze at the stars without a telescope.
It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.
>>It makes me feel comfortable and calm.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140839 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 4
140838 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 935
140837 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 923
140836 Appearance important Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 7
140835 Should beauty standards include people of all shapes, sizes, and... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 933
140834 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 979
140833 Introduce myself Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 1009
140832 Cats and dogs are the most common types of pets. What are some... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 1050
140831 Some pieces of art sell for millions of dollars. Why are some... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 1077
140830 What was the hardest part about learning English? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 1
140829 How does kindness show up in small, everyday ways? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 989
140828 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 1025
140827 My hobby Á¶*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 875
140826 What part does luck play in success? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 1005
140825 Can excessive use of social media have the opposite effect on... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 990
140824 Home work for Monday ±è*¿ë ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 877
140823 04nov2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 922
140822 If you could ask your palm reader one specific question about... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 942
140821 cheap ways to stay healthy ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 1048
140820 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 978

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04