¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework1

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2025-02-11 446

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing. When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain. We could see a lot of stars there. Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky." When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view. I was really impressive even I was a child. After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now. Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club. I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever. At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope. It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon^^
Thank you for sharing your answer. 
It seems like those two things are the biggest part of your life these days. 
_T. SHAY^^
***

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing.
>>Correct
OR: Stargazing is another thing that I'm interested in.

When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
>>When I was young, I once went to my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
We could see a lot of stars there. 
>>Correct
OR: That place is a good place to see many stars at night.
Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky."
>>Once my dad told me at night, "Just come out and look at the sky.'
When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
>>
When I was looking up at the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
I was really impressive even I was a child.
>>I was really impressed even as a child.
After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now.
>>Correct
OR: I've been interested in stargazing ever since then.
Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club.
>>
Also, at my university stargazing club, I learned how to use a telescope to see the stars.
I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever.
>>
I used to stargaze with my club member, and it's one of the best experiences in my life ever.
At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope.
>>
At this time, even though I'm busy studying and no time for stargazing with a telescope, sometimes I look up at the clear sky at night and just gaze at the stars without a telescope.
It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.
>>It makes me feel comfortable and calm.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139444 What are the disadvantages of upsizing your meal? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 1
139443 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 1
139442 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 2
139441 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 0
139440 What\'s your thought on your school election? Do you think class... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 2130
139439 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 3
139438 Homework, ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 0
139437 Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 1318
139436 It\'s for my interview ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 7
139435 2024.08.25 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 0
139434 strengths ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 5
139433 homework day 8 ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-24 2
139432 Hi, Divina °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-24 1
139431 The house that I want to build ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-24 5
139430 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139429 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1
139428 Reflect on a time when you faced midweek challenges. How did you... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1744
139427 About my friends ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1413
139426 Dangers of dieting ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1601
139425 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1223

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04