¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework1

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2025-02-11 342

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing. When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain. We could see a lot of stars there. Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky." When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view. I was really impressive even I was a child. After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now. Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club. I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever. At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope. It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon^^
Thank you for sharing your answer. 
It seems like those two things are the biggest part of your life these days. 
_T. SHAY^^
***

Aside from sport, I'm interested in stargazing.
>>Correct
OR: Stargazing is another thing that I'm interested in.

When I was young, once I went my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
>>When I was young, I once went to my dad's dormitory which is located deep in the mountain.
We could see a lot of stars there. 
>>Correct
OR: That place is a good place to see many stars at night.
Once my dad told me at night. "Just come out and look up the sky."
>>Once my dad told me at night, "Just come out and look at the sky.'
When I was looking up the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
>>
When I was looking up at the sky, there was such an amazing and beautiful view.
I was really impressive even I was a child.
>>I was really impressed even as a child.
After that time, I've been interested in stargazing until now.
>>Correct
OR: I've been interested in stargazing ever since then.
Also I learned how to use the telescope to see the stars in university stargazing club.
>>
Also, at my university stargazing club, I learned how to use a telescope to see the stars.
I used to stargaze with my club member, and these were one of my best experiences in my life ever.
>>
I used to stargaze with my club member, and it's one of the best experiences in my life ever.
At this time, even though I'm busy to study and no time to stargazing with telescope, sometimes I look up the sky at clear night and just gaze at stars without telescope.
>>
At this time, even though I'm busy studying and no time for stargazing with a telescope, sometimes I look up at the clear sky at night and just gaze at the stars without a telescope.
It makes me feel comfortable and being humble.
>>It makes me feel comfortable and calm.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140464 Ideal ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1116
140463 Do you think abortion should be legal or illegal? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1262
140462 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1102
140461 My memorable vacation Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 7
140460 Q) What should people do to avoid getting sick? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 0
140459 What are your thoughts on palm reading? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 3
140458 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1219
140457 Do you have a bedtime routine? If so, what do you do? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 2
140456 Have you ever bought something without planning it, and then... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1164
140455 How many hours of sleep do you usually get each night? How do... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 3
140454 I wonder if you spend your time on politics. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1456
140453 Think about that in almost everything. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1174
140452 HOMEWORK FOR 10.16.2024 WRITING TASK: What are the drawbacks of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 2
140451 Learning is always worthwhile. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1293
140450 How can we show everyone is equal? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1476
140449 Deadlines for my daughters ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1245
140448 HOMEWORK FOR 10.11.2024 WRITING TASK: If you could watch a movie... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 4
140447 HOMEWORK FOR 10.04.2024 WRITING TASK: If you can learn another... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 3
140446 Oct 14th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1072
140445 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04