¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-09 165

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Studying international news can tell a lot. You can see international trends, know countries that are disadvantageous to you, and know the future.
However, studying such international news is less likely to change your country.
However, I feel that I need to study like that. Understanding the flow means being able to grasp the future, and through this, you can see that what needs to be carried forward and what benefits are high.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework! Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and effectively presents your argument. You¡¯ve shown strong analytical skills and made good connections between ideas. While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Studying international news can tell a lot.
>>> Studying international news can give us a lot of learnings. 
 You can see international trends, know countries that are disadvantageous to you, and know the future.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> You can identify global trends, recognize countries that may pose disadvantages, and gain insights into the future.
However, studying such international news is less likely to change your country.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, I feel that I need to study like that. 
>>> Therefore, I feel that I need to study it.
Understanding the flow means being able to grasp the future, and through this, you can see that what needs to be carried forward and what benefits are high.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141989 Is there any movie that you saw that you didn\'t like at all? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 312
141988 What first inspired your passion for playing the violin? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 402
141987 What qualities do you admire most in your son? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 299
141986 What is a happy memory from your childhood with your family? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
141985 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 270
141984 smartphone and social interaction . ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 334
141983 Homework 7 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 318
141982 stupid ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 281
141981 1/14 homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
141980 [Homework] what are the instances that you wouldn\'t allow your... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 0
141979 08Jan2025_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 327
141978 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 329
141977 13Jan2025_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 444
141976 Activities in Bohol ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 315
141975 How often do you go for health check-ups? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 5
141974 I\'don\'t agree the opinion. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 328
141973 What¡¯s the best thing about Florida in your opinion? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 333
141972 What is your opinion on being unemployed? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 426
141971 Beach ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
141970 If there is a type of dish you want to learn, what would it be... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 322

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04