¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2025-02-09 131

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Studying international news can tell a lot. You can see international trends, know countries that are disadvantageous to you, and know the future.
However, studying such international news is less likely to change your country.
However, I feel that I need to study like that. Understanding the flow means being able to grasp the future, and through this, you can see that what needs to be carried forward and what benefits are high.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework! Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and effectively presents your argument. You¡¯ve shown strong analytical skills and made good connections between ideas. While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Studying international news can tell a lot.
>>> Studying international news can give us a lot of learnings. 
 You can see international trends, know countries that are disadvantageous to you, and know the future.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> You can identify global trends, recognize countries that may pose disadvantages, and gain insights into the future.
However, studying such international news is less likely to change your country.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, I feel that I need to study like that. 
>>> Therefore, I feel that I need to study it.
Understanding the flow means being able to grasp the future, and through this, you can see that what needs to be carried forward and what benefits are high.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142466 homework N ÀÌ*¹Î ÁøÇàÁß 2025-02-12 3
142465 What can the society/government do to ensure or strengthen... N ¹®*Çö ÁøÇàÁß 2025-02-12 1
142464 Homework & Question N ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 8
142463 Homework N ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 8
142462 What makes life beautiful? N ¼Û*ÀÚ ÁøÇàÁß 2025-02-12 0
142461 How do you measure your improvement in a specific field? N ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2025-02-12 7
142460 ping pong N ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 1
142459 good citizen? N ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 12
142458 What is the strangest food you\'ve ever eaten ? N ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 11
142457 What¡¯s the most generous offer you¡¯ve ever made to someone? N ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 12
142456 2/11 Homework N ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 1
142455 Gifts or offerings at Korean funerals N ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 125
142454 What role does technology play in modern tourism? N °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 2
142453 homework ±è*¿¬ ÁøÇàÁß 2025-02-11 0
142452 Exercise in the gym or Outdoor exercise-Exercising in the gym is... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 128
142451 How would you describe your glasses to someone over the phone? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 0
142450 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ÁøÇàÁß 2025-02-11 130
142449 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 3
142448 Who\'s the most outstanding male you know? What makes him... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 130
142447 How long are you usually allowed to play games and not study? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-11 127

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04