¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Subjects taught in school

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿ø
2025-02-07 179

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the subjects taught in school are nessasary because they contain fundamental contents for raising democratic citiizens. However, it is important to teach those not to memorize by discussing and critical thinking

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Rachel! Thanks for doing your homework! While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the subjects taught in school are necessary because they contain fundamental contents for raising democratic citizens.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, it is important to teach those not to memorize by discussing and critical thinking...
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141441 Would you rather stay over at a super fancy mansion or a cozy... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 428
141440 ¹ßÀ½ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 513
141439 Page.9 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2
141438 What made you interested in doing Mixed Martial Arts? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 765
141437 Which is better for communication, e-mail or handwritten letters? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 571
141436 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 723
141435 What do you think of men who apply makeup on their faces or use... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 690
141434 What are your thoughts on kids having slumber parties regularly? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 479
141433 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1
141432 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 478
141431 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 565
141430 06Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 659
141429 09Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 524
141428 What is your favorite comfort food and why? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 647
141427 How do you feel better when you\'re sad or angry? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 571
141426 Job interview_self introduction ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 573
141425 How do you make the most of your life every day? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 5
141424 About studying µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 628
141423 snow ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1
141422 party ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04