¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is work-life balance and why is it important?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2025-02-06 187

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, work-life balance is ¡®you don¡¯t invest your whole time and energy in work so that you can enjoy your hobbies or spend time with people whom you love.¡¯
Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend of their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. Also work time decreased from 6days to 5days. People started to spend their surplus time in various kinds of ways. Mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
I believe work-life balance is important because people need break. Even the God took a rest on the 7th day in creation period. Rest gives people more energy and motivation so that people maintain health and strong will.
When my goal is achieved, I will go to the gym to gain muscles by working out after work and also I want to learn something new skills such as cooking or car maintenance.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Diego!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille


In my opinion, work-life balance is ¡®you don¡¯t invest your whole time and energy in work so that you can enjoy your hobbies or spend time with people whom you love.¡¯
>> CORRECT!
Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend of their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. 
>> Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend on their lives because machines offered efficiency to human¡¯s work. 
Also, work time decreased from 6 days to 5 days. 
>> CORRECT!
People started to spend their surplus time in various kinds of ways. 
>> CORRECT!
Mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
>> The mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
I believe work-life balance is important because people need a break. 
>> CORRECT!
Even the God took a rest on the 7th day in creation period. 
>> Even God took a rest on the 7th day in the period of creation. 
Rest gives people more energy and motivation so that people maintain health and strong will.
>> CORRECT!
When my goal is achieved, I will go to the gym to gain muscles by working out after work and also I want to learn something new skills such as cooking or car maintenance.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141245 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 769
141244 What will you tell your future self? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 772
141243 Do you have any friends from a different culture or country than... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 856
141242 HOOMEWORK ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 660
141241 Homework ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 777
141240 What¡¯s the most thoughtful gesture you¡¯ve received from a... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 774
141239 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 675
141238 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 5
141237 Write about your trip last week. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 649
141236 What are your thoughts on your neighbors? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 801
141235 Do you often greet strangers in public places like on the... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 871
141234 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 746
141233 vaccinate ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 0
141232 on the back of my hand ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 1
141231 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 2
141230 the road ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 2
141229 Which is a better viewing experience, watching plays or watching... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 690
141228 What might happen if you don¡¯t use any phones in a day, week,... ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 629
141227 How would your life be different without access to technology? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 649
141226 Is the weather in a country important when you choose a place to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-28 647

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04