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What is work-life balance and why is it important?

작성자: 송*훈
2025-02-06 292

회원님의 영작문

In my opinion, work-life balance is ‘you don’t invest your whole time and energy in work so that you can enjoy your hobbies or spend time with people whom you love.’
Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend of their lives because machines offered efficiency to human’s work. Also work time decreased from 6days to 5days. People started to spend their surplus time in various kinds of ways. Mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
I believe work-life balance is important because people need break. Even the God took a rest on the 7th day in creation period. Rest gives people more energy and motivation so that people maintain health and strong will.
When my goal is achieved, I will go to the gym to gain muscles by working out after work and also I want to learn something new skills such as cooking or car maintenance.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Diego!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. You really did well! :)
~ T. Camille


In my opinion, work-life balance is ‘you don’t invest your whole time and energy in work so that you can enjoy your hobbies or spend time with people whom you love.’
>> CORRECT!
Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend of their lives because machines offered efficiency to human’s work. 
>> Since the industrial revolution, people had surplus time to spend on their lives because machines offered efficiency to human’s work. 
Also, work time decreased from 6 days to 5 days. 
>> CORRECT!
People started to spend their surplus time in various kinds of ways. 
>> CORRECT!
Mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
>> The mainstream of society persuaded people to enjoy their lives and emphasized personal happiness.
I believe work-life balance is important because people need a break. 
>> CORRECT!
Even the God took a rest on the 7th day in creation period. 
>> Even God took a rest on the 7th day in the period of creation. 
Rest gives people more energy and motivation so that people maintain health and strong will.
>> CORRECT!
When my goal is achieved, I will go to the gym to gain muscles by working out after work and also I want to learn something new skills such as cooking or car maintenance.
>> CORRECT!

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