¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I did my homework.🤗

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*¿µ
2025-02-06 225

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Hello jewel~
I know the reason why the file was not uploaded, yesterday.
Because the picture needed too large memory.
So, I controled the file and attatached again.
And I wrote the topic that
¡°What¡¯s purchase you wish you hadn¡¯t made, why?¡±
There are a lot of things in my room. Above all, I can choose many childeren¡¯s books for my son. My son read almost books at least once. But I couldn¡¯t put away them from my bookshelves. Because I was sure that he would read them again. However, It is not happened.Even though they become a kind of wall. He no longer needs them as growing up.It would tidy all things up better. But I feel hard to remove them, yet. I¡¯m still expect him to read the books.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Stella! Thank you for sharing these sentiments about your family. I hope you can deal with these concerns and enjoy a happy life with your family. ^^ Have a great weekend!

~T. Jewel

When I was young, my dad passed away early.

>>My dad passed away when I was young.

OR

>>When I was young, my dad passed away at an early age.
I was 14 years old.

>>CORRECT
Our family usually used to send time all together with grandparents and other cousins every big holidays.

>>Our family usually spent time together with our grandparents and other cousins on every big holiday.
But, we didn't do like that anymore after the event.

>>But we didn¡¯t do that anymore after the event.
When our family visted grand parents house, they didn't greet us.

>>When our family visited our grandparents' house, they didn't greet us.
I could felt the atmospere even though I was child.

>>I could feel the atmosphere even though I was a child.
So, my mother, younger brother and I sent time to celebrebrate the holiday.

>>So, my mother, younger brother, and I spent time celebrating the holiday.

Only with us.

>>It's just the three of us.

I sometimes thought we was looked so lonely.

>>I sometimes thought we looked so lonely.
On the other hand, we could spend time together simply because we did what we wanted to do, for example sleeping late in the afternoon.

>>On the other hand, we could spend time together simply because we did what we wanted to do, such as sleeping late in the afternoon.

Now, I have a family-in law and I send time with many people.

>>Now, I have a family-in-law, and I spend time with many people.

It is happy to me but, I sometimes remember that time.

>>It makes me happy, but I sometimes remember that time.

~~~~


There are a lot of things in my room. 

>>CORRECT

Above all, I can choose many childeren¡¯s books for my son. 

>>Above all, I can choose many children's books for my son.

My son read almost books at least once.

>>My son has read almost all the books at least once.

But I couldn¡¯t put away them from my bookshelves. 

>>But I couldn¡¯t put them away from my bookshelves.

Because I was sure that he would read them again. 

>>CORRECT

However, It is not happened.

>>However, it did not happen.

Even though they become a kind of wall. 

>>They look like a wall.

He no longer needs them as growing up.

>>He no longer needs them as he is growing up.

It would tidy all things up better. 

>>I would tidy everything up better.

But I feel hard to remove them, yet.

>>But I find it hard to remove them yet.

I¡¯m still expect him to read the books.

>>I'm still expecting him to read the books.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140855 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 765
140854 In what ways does immigration benefit a country? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 756
140853 Recipe Of Curry ¾È*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 1052
140852 What do you usually order when you eat out? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 883
140851 What do you think are the most important qualities of a good... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 1
140850 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 3
140849 I\'m a main pasta chef in my home! ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 831
140848 Home work for Wednesday ( 6th Novemder ) ±è*¿ë ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 912
140847 I want to purchase my own house one day. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 852
140846 I\'m terrible at negotiating when shopping :( ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 935
140845 Do Do you think the shape of your hands or fingers reveals... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 840
140844 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 817
140843 6.Nov.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 0
140842 What is the most beautiful city you have ever visited? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-07 2
140841 What would a perfect day look like for you? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 1524
140840 What\'s the best company benefit or perk you\'ve received at... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 966
140839 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 4
140838 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 873
140837 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 847
140836 Appearance important Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-06 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04