¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What kind of workmates do you want to work with? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*À±
2025-02-05 86

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Please, check the attached file.
Have a nice day!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yun, 

Almost perfect! Great job with your essay. I also agree when you mentioned about the type of colleagues you would want to work with. They are truly ideal! ^^ 

~ Teacher Gina


Wouldn't a lot of people want to work with a colleague who has a lot of good points or advantages? HAHA, I'm one of the people who wants it.
>> CORRECT.

First, I hope they are colleagues who get along with people.
>> CORRECT.

Wouldn't you have a good personality if you were a good colleague? 
>> CORRECT.

I think that no matter what job you do, there is only a difference in the frequency of meeting people, but you have to meet people and work anyway. 
>> CORRECT.

Also, there may be tasks that need to work together, and when faced with a difficult task, you need to get along with people to ask others for help.
>> Also, there may be tasks that require teamwork, and when faced with a difficult task, you need to get along with others in order to ask for help.

Second, I hope you are a colleague who is willing to do anything.
>> CORRECT.

If it's your first time, you won't be able to work well. 
>> CORRECT.

You don't have to be bad at work. 
>> CORRECT.

You learn to work by making mistake, making mistakes, and getting in trouble.
>> You learn to work by making mistakes, and getting in trouble.

As time goes by, you get used to work and become proficient. But you can't if you don't have the will to do it. Also, people who try to help me will become unwilling to help and will look at me in a bad light. You need to show your own efforts so that other colleagues will want to help me and give me a helping hand first.
>> CORRECT.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141594 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 526
141593 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 595
141592 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 513
141591 If you could inspire someone, what would you inspire them to do? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1
141590 composition ±è*´Ï¿¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 384
141589 What do you consider to be the biggest challenge facing the... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 0
141588 Hi I\'m SEIN ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 498
141587 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 2
141586 Do you think the court will approve president Yoon\'s... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 574
141585 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 425
141584 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 589
141583 dress ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 1
141582 gift ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 0
141581 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 530
141580 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 604
141579 How does the location of a business affect its success? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 555
141578 I will be discouraged when I can\'t ask help to my family or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 594
141577 New activities I want to try in Jeju Island ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 633
141576 The improvement of social welfare I want for next president ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 616
141575 What do you usually do when the weather is so cold in Busan? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-19 572

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04