¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think we can better protect ourselves from the flu?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-02-05 297

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had the flu twice about five years ago.
I know that the flu is completely different from a severe cold because I have experienced it.
Looking back at that time, I had an environment where I could get the flu easily.
I think two things are important to prevent the flu.
First, we should look back on our eating habits.
It is necessary for us to have a balanced eating habits.
It is important to eat foods rich in vitamin C and fiber.
In the end, these habits have the effect of enhancing our immunity.
And secondly, we have to exercise regularly.
Flu is mostly prevalent in the cold winter.
The cold weather makes us lazy to exercise.
This habit eventually increases the chances of getting the flu.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David. Your response presents a clear and well-structured discussion on flu prevention. You effectively highlight the importance of a balanced diet and regular exercise, making your points easy to understand. Your reasoning is solid, and your writing demonstrates a strong grasp of the topic. Keep up the good work!


~ T. Lia


I had the flu twice about five years ago.
>> CORRECT


I know that the flu is completely different from a severe cold because I have experienced it.
>> CORRECT


Looking back at that time, I had an environment where I could get the flu easily.
>> Looking back at that time, I was in an environment where I could easily catch the flu.


I think two things are important to prevent the flu.
>> CORRECT


First, we should look back on our eating habits.
>> CORRECT


It is necessary for us to have a balanced eating habits.
>> It is necessary for us to have balanced eating habits.


It is important to eat foods rich in vitamin C and fiber.
>> CORRECT


In the end, these habits have the effect of enhancing our immunity.

>> In the end, these habits help enhance our immunity.


And secondly, we have to exercise regularly.
>> Secondly, we have to exercise regularly.


Flu is mostly prevalent in the cold winter.
>> The flu is most prevalent during the cold winter.


The cold weather makes us lazy to exercise.
>> The cold weather makes us feel too lazy to exercise.


This habit eventually increases the chances of getting the flu.
>> This habit eventually increases the risk of getting the flu.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141145 In what ways can we disconnect from our phones to truly... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 694
141144 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 0
141143 22nov2024- homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 590
141142 What is the meaning of your name? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 826
141141 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1076
141140 HOMEWORK: What makes you happy? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 0
141139 MA question answer ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 703
141138 Korean is so easy for every person. ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 2
141137 One hand washes the other ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-24 698
141136 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-24 2
141135 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-24 691
141134 What are your thoughts on the dining etiquette practices in your... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-24 1
141133 What are some of the most common email scams to watch out for? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-24 3
141132 What qualities do you value most in your best buddy? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-24 2
141131 How will you make your final presentation more engaging and... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-24 800
141130 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-23 2
141129 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 679
141128 HOMEWORK FOR 11.22.2024 WRITING TASK: What important thing did... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 5
141127 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 2
141126 What could be the negative effects of motivating by fear? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-22 769

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04