¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think we can better protect ourselves from the flu?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-02-05 326

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had the flu twice about five years ago.
I know that the flu is completely different from a severe cold because I have experienced it.
Looking back at that time, I had an environment where I could get the flu easily.
I think two things are important to prevent the flu.
First, we should look back on our eating habits.
It is necessary for us to have a balanced eating habits.
It is important to eat foods rich in vitamin C and fiber.
In the end, these habits have the effect of enhancing our immunity.
And secondly, we have to exercise regularly.
Flu is mostly prevalent in the cold winter.
The cold weather makes us lazy to exercise.
This habit eventually increases the chances of getting the flu.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David. Your response presents a clear and well-structured discussion on flu prevention. You effectively highlight the importance of a balanced diet and regular exercise, making your points easy to understand. Your reasoning is solid, and your writing demonstrates a strong grasp of the topic. Keep up the good work!


~ T. Lia


I had the flu twice about five years ago.
>> CORRECT


I know that the flu is completely different from a severe cold because I have experienced it.
>> CORRECT


Looking back at that time, I had an environment where I could get the flu easily.
>> Looking back at that time, I was in an environment where I could easily catch the flu.


I think two things are important to prevent the flu.
>> CORRECT


First, we should look back on our eating habits.
>> CORRECT


It is necessary for us to have a balanced eating habits.
>> It is necessary for us to have balanced eating habits.


It is important to eat foods rich in vitamin C and fiber.
>> CORRECT


In the end, these habits have the effect of enhancing our immunity.

>> In the end, these habits help enhance our immunity.


And secondly, we have to exercise regularly.
>> Secondly, we have to exercise regularly.


Flu is mostly prevalent in the cold winter.
>> The flu is most prevalent during the cold winter.


The cold weather makes us lazy to exercise.
>> The cold weather makes us feel too lazy to exercise.


This habit eventually increases the chances of getting the flu.
>> This habit eventually increases the risk of getting the flu.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140618 Writing task: What activities do you want to explore? Why? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1363
140617 Increasing the minimum wage would reduce poverty. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1322
140616 When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? ±¸*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1285
140615 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1277
140614 homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1274
140613 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1171
140612 Konglish ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1422
140611 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1271
140610 Conversation with people of that country makes enrich their... ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 0
140609 homework ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1210
140608 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1142
140607 Some people say that humans are scarier than the most dangerous... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1088
140606 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 2
140605 23oct2024 homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1085
140604 There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples... ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1151
140603 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1
140602 Do you believe that if you help someone, something good will... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1287
140601 What are the benefits of eating three eggs a day for you? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1218
140600 What would happen if we all woke up tomorrow and couldn¡¯t speak? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1267
140599 does obtaining an award at school matter? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 1271

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04