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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Talk about your most unforgettable vacation.

작성자: 박*호
2025-02-04 107

회원님의 영작문

Koreans gernally go on vacations during summer season because summer in Korea is so hot and humid that it is very hard to focus on working and students take long summer vacations and can go on trips with their parents.
I also went on a summer vacation every year with my family.
Among them, my most unforgettable vacation was the summer vacation of 2008 when it was 17 years ago.
At that time, I saved money for a long time and travelled to the United States with my whole family about a month.
during the trip, I rented a car and drove all over the United States from the west coast to the east coast.
I think I visited almost 20 states including California in the United States.
And I was very happy to travel and spend quality time with my family.
Now my two daughters are all grown up and expected to get married in the near future, so they no longer want to go on a long vacation with me and I am very unhappy on that.
I will never forget the summer vacation of 2008.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Sun Ho^^
Wow! You must have had a blast during that vacation.
You did visit many states. 
It seems like it was the longest trip you've had with your family too. 
Thank you for sharing. 
_T. SHAY^^
***
Koreans gernally go on vacations during summer season because summer in Korea is so hot and humid that it is very hard to focus on working and students take long summer vacations and can go on trips with their parents.
>>Koreans generally go on vacations during summer season because summer in Korea is so hot and humid that it is very hard to focus on work and students take long summer vacations and can go on trips with their parents.
OR: Most Koreans go on vacations during summer for a few reasons. One is Korean summer is very hot and humid which makes it hard to focus on work. Another reason is Korean students have a long summer vacation, so they can go on trips with the family. 
I also went on a summer vacation every year with my family.
>>Correct
OR: Just like other families, I also went on a summer vacation every year with my family.
Among them, my most unforgettable vacation was the summer vacation of 2008 when it was 17 years ago.
>>Among them, my most unforgettable vacation was the summer vacation 17 years ago.
OR: Among them, the most unforgettable vacation was the summer vacation of 2008. 
At that time, I saved money for a long time and travelled to the United States with my whole family about a month.
>>At that time, I had saved money for a long time and travelled to the United States with my whole family for about a month.
during the trip, I rented a car and drove all over the United States from the west coast to the east coast.
>>During the trip, I rented a car and drove all over the United States - from the west coast to the east coast.
I think I visited almost 20 states including California in the United States.
>>I think I visited almost 20 states including California.
And I was very happy to travel and spend quality time with my family.
>>And I was very happy to travel and spend a quality time with my family.
OR: I had fun traveling and spending a great time with my family.
Now my two daughters are all grown up and expected to get married in the near future, so they no longer want to go on a long vacation with me and I am very unhappy on that.
>>Now my two daughters are all grown up and are expected to get married in the near future, so they no longer want to go on a long vacation with me and I am very unhappy about that.
OR: Now my two daughters are all grown up are will soon get married, so they no longer go on long vacations with me which makes me sad.
I will never forget the summer vacation of 2008.
>>Correct
OR: The summer vacation of 2008 will forever linger in my memory. 

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