무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think traditions should be preserved and maintained?

작성자: 문*현
2025-01-27 583

회원님의 영작문

Traditions should be preserved because these heritages shape national identity, which differentiate one culture to others and offer sense of belonging under globalization. At the same traditions should be altered based on the demand of modern society. This is because traditions difficult to follow might not be cherished properly which can eventually die out. For instance, there are ancestral rites in Korea influenced by Confucian culture. The main purpose of these ceremonies is to thank ancestors for their success and commemorate them. Back then, ancestral ceremonies were close to family events except for head families. However, this purpose has lost its meaning after 1950 by each household making the event complicated. Many started to believe that extravagant choice foods and complicated procedures are required to properly cherish their ancestors. Now many younger generations are not convening the ceremony, which would lead this culture to disappear in the foreseeable future.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel!

Traditions should be preserved because these heritages shape national identity, which differentiate one culture to others and offer sense of belonging under globalization. 
>>>  Traditions should be preserved because these heritages shape national identity, which differentiate one culture to others and offer a sense of belongingness under/despite globalization. 
At the same traditions should be altered based on the demand of modern society. 
>>>  At the same time, traditions should be altered based on the demand of modern society. 
This is because traditions difficult to follow might not be cherished properly which can eventually die out. 
>>>  This is because traditions that are difficult to follow might not be cherished properly which can eventually die out. 
For instance, there are ancestral rites in Korea influenced by Confucian culture. 
>>>  correct
The main purpose of these ceremonies is to thank ancestors for their success and commemorate them. 
>>>   correct 
Back then, ancestral ceremonies were close to family events except for head families. 
>>>    correct
However, this purpose has lost its meaning after 1950 by each household making the event complicated. 
>>>    correct
Many started to believe that extravagant choice foods and complicated procedures are required to properly cherish their ancestors. 
>>>  Many started to believe that extravagant choice of foods and complicated procedures are required to properly cherish their ancestors. 
Now, many younger generations are not convening the ceremony, which would lead this culture to disappear in the foreseeable future.
>>>  correct
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
138210 \"Every cloud has a silver lining\" is a popular old saying.... 이*윤 완료 2024-07-01 1076
138209 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-07-01 2
138208 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in the... 신*규 완료 2024-07-01 1245
138207 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-07-01 5
138206 2024.06.28 남*례 완료 2024-07-01 1025
138205 Why do you think people buy pirated products? 박*연 완료 2024-07-01 1508
138204 What are your thoughts on piracy, such as downloading movies or... 박*연 완료 2024-07-01 1432
138203 In what ways are dogs helpful to humans? Explain. 박*은 완료 2024-07-01 1212
138202 How do you celebrate small successes or milestones as you... 박*은 완료 2024-07-01 1047
138201 Do you think the government should always check the prices and... 김*기 완료 2024-07-01 1620
138200 June 28th homehork 안*희 완료 2024-07-01 1120
138199 What is the best place for a vacation in your country? Why is it... 진*호 완료 2024-07-01 2
138198 Q) What do you think of people who always work out? 최*영 완료 2024-07-01 4
138197 One thing that I want to change about our culture 한*자 완료 2024-07-01 7
138196 Do you agree with the saying \'The customer is always right\'?... 김*기 완료 2024-07-01 1225
138195 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-07-01 0
138194 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in the... 현* 완료 2024-07-01 1133
138193 Are all-you-can-eat restaurants better than buffet restaurants?... 김*기 완료 2024-07-01 1042
138192 6/28 Homework 권*민 완료 2024-07-01 1
138191 What is a delectable food you\'ve tasted that you cannot forget? 김*기 완료 2024-07-01 1166

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]