¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What surprised you the most about your experiences with shamanism in Japan?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-01-24 913

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples in Japan, from small to large temples in the city center.
The first thing that surprised me was that there were so many temples.
I later learned that there are also special places on a small scale for ceremonies in private houses like temples.
In general, when we think of shamanism, we can think that older generations are more dependent on shamanism than younger generations.
The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many younger generations join hands in temples and pray reverently.
What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they hit them like clapping their hands a few times and make a sound before praying.
In the town by the sea in Korea, they always keep their own shamanistic rituals to return the ship without an accident.
Japan is also an island country, so I think it will be similar.
I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, so it appears like this.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David! Your sentences are thoughtful and well-organized, and they reflect a clear understanding of cultural differences and practices. A couple of minor adjustments were made to enhance clarity and flow, but overall, your ideas are expressed effectively. Keep up the great work!


~ T. Lia


While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples in Japan, from small to large temples in the city center.
>> While traveling in Japan, we can see that there are various temples, from small to large ones in the city center.


The first thing that surprised me was that there were so many temples.
>> CORRECT


I later learned that there are also special places on a small scale for ceremonies in private houses like temples.
>> I later learned that there are also special small-scale places for ceremonies in private houses, similar to temples.


In general, when we think of shamanism, we can think that older generations are more dependent on shamanism than younger generations.
>> In general, when we think of shamanism, we can conclude that older generations are more dependent on it than younger generations.


The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many younger generations join hands in temples and pray reverently.

>> The most surprising thing is that in Japan, many young people join hands in temples and pray reverently.


What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they hit them like clapping their hands a few times and make a sound before praying.

>> What was unusual was that before putting their hands together, they clapped a few times to make a sound before praying.


In the town by the sea in Korea, they always keep their own shamanistic rituals to return the ship without an accident.
>> In the town by the sea in Korea, they always follow their shamanistic rituals to ensure the ship returns without an accident.


Japan is also an island country, so I think it will be similar.
>> CORRECT


I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, so it appears like this.
>> I think the environment affects our lifestyle and religion, which results in this.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142354 If you could meet any famous person, who would it be and why? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 838
142353 Does a buffet promote overconsumption? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 786
142352 What is the best part of celebrating Lunar New Year? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 649
142351 What is the importance of social activities? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 800
142350 How significant is keeping these manufacturing plants in Mexico... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 777
142349 HOMEWORK ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-07 0
142348 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2
142347 Waking up early vs waking up late ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 671
142346 My childhood memories in Suwon È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 912
142345 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 735
142344 Future travel plan È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 712
142343 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142342 What are the other disadvantages of talking on the phone? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 3
142341 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 783
142340 What is work-life balance and why is it important? ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 797
142339 2/5 HOMEWORK ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 2
142338 Do you think money can make people happy? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 778
142337 Have you ever owed someone? How? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 741
142336 River Flows In You ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 1
142335 homework~ (What are the last thing you did~?) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-06 620

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04