무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Should kids bring their phones to school?

작성자: 손*희
2025-01-23 337

회원님의 영작문

I think kids should not bring their phones to school.
First, mobile phones can disrupt learning. When students use their phones during class, their focus diminishes, and their learning effectiveness decreases. Research shows that students who use their phones in class tend to have lower academic achievement compared to those who do not. While communication with friends is important, interaction with teachers should take precedence during class time. Therefore, in an environment without phones, students can concentrate better and learn more effectively.
Second, mobile phones can create social conflicts. School is a crucial place for students to develop social skills and form friendships. However, accessing social media or sending messages through phones can lead to bullying or conflicts. In particular, issues like cyberbullying have become more serious with the increased use of mobile phones.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

HI, Hana! I totally agree with your opinion on this topic. I'm strongly against using phones during the class. However, I think students should be allowed to bring their phones at school so parents or guardians can contact them during emergency situations. But the use of it while the class in going on should be prohibited, or at least limited. See you in the class!
-Teacher Anji

I think kids should not bring their phones to school.
>> CORRECT
First, mobile phones can disrupt learning. 
>> CORRECT
students use their phones during class, their focus diminishes, and their learning effectiveness decreases. 
>> When students use their phones during the class, their focus diminishes, and the learning effectiveness decreases.
Research shows that students who use their phones in class tend to have lower academic achievement compared to those who do not. 
>> Research shows that students who use their phones in the class tend to have lower academic achievement compared to those who do not. 
While communication with friends is important, interaction with teachers should take precedence during class time. 
>> CORRECT
Therefore, in an environment without phones, students can concentrate better and learn more effectively.
>> CORRECT
Second, mobile phones can create social conflicts. 
>> CORRECT
School is a crucial place for students to develop social skills and form friendships. 
>> CORRECT
However, accessing social media or sending messages through phones can lead to bullying or conflicts. 
>> CORRECT
In particular, issues like cyberbullying have become more serious with the increased use of mobile phones.
>> CORRECT
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
142110 1/21 Homework 권*빈 완료 2025-01-22 1
142109 Going to kindergarten before attending primary school. 한*원 완료 2025-01-22 312
142108 In order to make it clear... 이*훈 완료 2025-01-22 280
142107 Who is your favorite travel companion, and why? 임*미 완료 2025-01-22 256
142106 FYI I found the definition of \'Several\'. 이*훈 완료 2025-01-22 319
142105 Who do you usually talk to on the phone the most? 이*범 완료 2025-01-22 314
142104 Homework 김*우 완료 2025-01-22 3
142103 Homework & Question 이*주 완료 2025-01-22 289
142102 Why do you prefer white wine over red wine? 박*현 완료 2025-01-21 210
142101 What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought for yourself 오*영 완료 2025-01-21 250
142100 What would you do if you had more free time? 조*명 완료 2025-01-21 8
142099 What are you most excited about for your upcoming trip? 임*미 완료 2025-01-21 260
142098 Where do you want to go on your next vacation? Why? 임*비 완료 2025-01-21 262
142097 Which do you think is more beautiful, the sunrise or the sunset? 오*영 완료 2025-01-21 249
142096 All my storys 임*준 완료 2025-01-21 350
142095 Why I felt sometimes homework is hard to finish? 김*우 완료 2025-01-21 1
142094 Should we take care of the elderly at home or put them in... 손*희 완료 2025-01-21 256
142093 What are your thoughts on the politics in your country? 차*혁 완료 2025-01-21 396
142092 What would you do if you lost the thing you borrowed? 이*훈 완료 2025-01-21 279
142091 landmark 민*정 완료 2025-01-21 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]