¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

First essay!!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2025-01-22 854

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Summer became longer and hotter because of climate change. So UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period is on August. So it was raining almost everyday. But it was raining occasionally during the rain period of this year. Long time ago, our four seasons are very distinct. But nowdays, spring and fall are too short, summer and winter are too long. And spring is also cold like winter, fall is also hot like summer. Their boundary is very ambiguous. For example, yellow dust is originally character of spring. But yellow dust severely appeared on January

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yumin!!!

I encourage you to to assess yourself and set up your goals, these goals are ownership or your learnings. So start setting up your goals if life and especially in setting up your goals in learning English these are your treasures. I can see you your potentials in speaking keep it up.!!!!
T. Jeny


Summer became longer and hotter because of climate change.
>>Summer has become longer and hotter because of climate change.
 So UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period is on August. 
>>So the UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period was in August. 
So it was raining almost everyday. 
>>So it was raining almost every day.
But it was raining occasionally during the rain period of this year. 
>>Correct
OR>>But for last year, it rained occasionally.
Long time ago, our four seasons are very distinct. 
>>Correct
But nowdays, spring and fall are too short, summer and winter are too long.
>>But nowadays, spring and fall are too short, and summer and winter are too long.
 And spring is also cold like winter, fall is also hot like summer. 
>>Spring is also cold like winter, and fall is also hot like summer. 
Their boundary is very ambiguous.
>>Correct
 For example, yellow dust is originally character of spring.
>>For example, yellow dust was only common in spring.
 But yellow dust severely appeared on January
>>But now we can experience yellow dust as early as January.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142223 \"Importance of Rest and Balance in a Busy Life¡° ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-01 858
142222 Homework ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 2
142221 What do you do to easily get along with other people? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 974
142220 Organ donation is one of the best donations that people can do ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 1
142219 The book that I¡¯ll introduce today is ¡®The First-time Teacher... À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 773
142218 Dear, Cathy teacher ¹è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 841
142217 Doing nothing is meaningful ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 745
142216 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 980
142215 How do you typically protect yourself from the dust when it¡¯s... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 943
142214 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 1001
142213 Do you prefer a quick goodbye or a long farewell? Why? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 694
142212 What surprised you about getting older? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-31 806
142211 Trump ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1196
142210 Write the best way to have a staycation during the Korean New... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 815
142209 What is your ideal summer camp? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 927
142208 Write about the most interesting summer camp you can think of. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 618
142207 How do you celebrate Seollal with your family? ÀÓ*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1136
142206 Write about the first time you were on a plane. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 934
142205 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 1
142204 My introduction ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-30 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04