¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

First essay!!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2025-01-22 487

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Summer became longer and hotter because of climate change. So UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period is on August. So it was raining almost everyday. But it was raining occasionally during the rain period of this year. Long time ago, our four seasons are very distinct. But nowdays, spring and fall are too short, summer and winter are too long. And spring is also cold like winter, fall is also hot like summer. Their boundary is very ambiguous. For example, yellow dust is originally character of spring. But yellow dust severely appeared on January

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yumin!!!

I encourage you to to assess yourself and set up your goals, these goals are ownership or your learnings. So start setting up your goals if life and especially in setting up your goals in learning English these are your treasures. I can see you your potentials in speaking keep it up.!!!!
T. Jeny


Summer became longer and hotter because of climate change.
>>Summer has become longer and hotter because of climate change.
 So UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period is on August. 
>>So the UV is stronger than before. Originally, the rain period was in August. 
So it was raining almost everyday. 
>>So it was raining almost every day.
But it was raining occasionally during the rain period of this year. 
>>Correct
OR>>But for last year, it rained occasionally.
Long time ago, our four seasons are very distinct. 
>>Correct
But nowdays, spring and fall are too short, summer and winter are too long.
>>But nowadays, spring and fall are too short, and summer and winter are too long.
 And spring is also cold like winter, fall is also hot like summer. 
>>Spring is also cold like winter, and fall is also hot like summer. 
Their boundary is very ambiguous.
>>Correct
 For example, yellow dust is originally character of spring.
>>For example, yellow dust was only common in spring.
 But yellow dust severely appeared on January
>>But now we can experience yellow dust as early as January.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140545 The last time I was proud ÃÖ*Âù ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1045
140544 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1
140543 How can we show everyone is equal? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1050
140542 21oct2024- homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1283
140541 What were some of the rules you had to follow at your high... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 5
140540 I don\'t want to see things on social media that you don\'t like. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1153
140539 I don\'t make much effort. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 992
140538 What strategies do you use to build your self-confidence? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1038
140537 How would the world change if you could instantly understand any... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 979
140536 What would change if money didn¡¯t exist but people still had to... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 959
140535 Can you think of a time when doing nothing was the best action? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1175
140534 Should kids have more of a say in decisions made by their... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1092
140533 What do you do to maintain or improve your mental health? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1316
140532 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1306
140531 Why do you think many people smoke? Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1089
140530 Too many students earning degrees have diluted the value of a... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1181
140529 What do you enjoy most about autumn? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1059
140528 How do you see yourself growing or advancing in your ideal... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1108
140527 Have you ever had to step in and help during a difficult time... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1032
140526 Why do you think apologizing is important in relationships? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1308

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04