¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-01-22 1242

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.

I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there once again, Min!

Truly, finding the perfect hanbok dress may be challenging due to its authenticity and fabric. When you want a quality hanbok just like any other clothing, you have to pay the price. Thus, go to that expo and find that one impeccable hanbok that best suits you.

Here you can see that the reference for the 'Internet' is 'on'. 'Moreover' or 'in addition' are better conjunctions to use to transition your next sentence since 'and' is used to connect two similar ideas.

Great job! See you.

-T. Donna~

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.
>> Correct!

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.
>> It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste on the Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
Moreover, other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.


I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!
>> Correct! Very good sentences!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141973 What¡¯s the best thing about Florida in your opinion? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1034
141972 What is your opinion on being unemployed? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1091
141971 Beach ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 2
141970 If there is a type of dish you want to learn, what would it be... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-15 1060
141969 Which is better to grow up in, poverty or in wealth? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1055
141968 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1
141967 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1016
141966 fast food ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1160
141965 Always remind \'Time is invaluable\' ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 2
141964 About my absent Àº*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 3
141963 The homework of 13th Jan. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1180
141962 Write about your best day last week. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 968
141961 Do you want to be a firefighter? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1265
141960 Homework6 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1318
141959 loneliness ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 926
141958 Sorry ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1196
141957 What activity do you want to squeeze into your routine? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1036
141956 How do you manage your day when you haven\'t had enough sleep? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 990
141955 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1024
141954 When was the last time you were late for something? Write about... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1194

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04