¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-01-22 384

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.

I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there once again, Min!

Truly, finding the perfect hanbok dress may be challenging due to its authenticity and fabric. When you want a quality hanbok just like any other clothing, you have to pay the price. Thus, go to that expo and find that one impeccable hanbok that best suits you.

Here you can see that the reference for the 'Internet' is 'on'. 'Moreover' or 'in addition' are better conjunctions to use to transition your next sentence since 'and' is used to connect two similar ideas.

Great job! See you.

-T. Donna~

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.
>> Correct!

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.
>> It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste on the Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
Moreover, other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.


I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!
>> Correct! Very good sentences!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141811 \"Lessons I\'ve Learned from My Favorite Movies\". ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 844
141810 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 629
141809 addiction ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1
141808 modern family ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1
141807 Do you think dancing is a good workout? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 539
141806 What are you looking forward to this 2025? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 611
141805 Day 2 Homework ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 583
141804 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-07 1
141803 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1
141802 What did you do a lot when you were young, but now you barely do? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 748
141801 What was your biggest accomplishment in 2024? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 792
141800 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 594
141799 6.Jan.2025 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1
141798 Though it is10 years ago, I can remember it exactly ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 3
141797 What was your best travel experience so far? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1
141796 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 549
141795 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 596
141794 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 779
141793 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 624
141792 homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04