¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-01-22 852

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.

I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there once again, Min!

Truly, finding the perfect hanbok dress may be challenging due to its authenticity and fabric. When you want a quality hanbok just like any other clothing, you have to pay the price. Thus, go to that expo and find that one impeccable hanbok that best suits you.

Here you can see that the reference for the 'Internet' is 'on'. 'Moreover' or 'in addition' are better conjunctions to use to transition your next sentence since 'and' is used to connect two similar ideas.

Great job! See you.

-T. Donna~

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.
>> Correct!

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.
>> It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste on the Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
Moreover, other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.


I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!
>> Correct! Very good sentences!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139139 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 2
139138 What¡¯s the scariest thing about oceans? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1370
139137 8/13(Tue) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1844
139136 How do you respect the privacy of all the members of your family? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1400
139135 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 2112
139134 Opinion of myself ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1461
139133 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1
139132 homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 4
139131 self introduction ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1488
139130 My favorite movie ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1372
139129 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1
139128 2024.08.12 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1246
139127 Is there a particular artist or band that has influenced your... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1815
139126 Vitamin ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1475
139125 Are you a health-conscious person? Why or why not? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1355
139124 Many kinds of contemporary music ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1248
139123 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1
139122 How do you typically spend your weekends, and what do you... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1487
139121 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 0
139120 What\'s good about the place where you were born? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1698

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04