¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-01-22 792

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.

I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there once again, Min!

Truly, finding the perfect hanbok dress may be challenging due to its authenticity and fabric. When you want a quality hanbok just like any other clothing, you have to pay the price. Thus, go to that expo and find that one impeccable hanbok that best suits you.

Here you can see that the reference for the 'Internet' is 'on'. 'Moreover' or 'in addition' are better conjunctions to use to transition your next sentence since 'and' is used to connect two similar ideas.

Great job! See you.

-T. Donna~

I told you that I love to wear modern hanbok when I meet with my friends.
So I want to get a modern hanbok dress this summer.
>> Correct!

It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste by Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
And other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.
>> It is very hard to look for hanbok dress which is to my taste on the Internet.
Some dresses are so cheap that the quality looks bad.
Moreover, other dresses look beautiful for me but the price is too expensive.


I heard that the hanbok expo has been held every year in Seoul, and people can watch and buy hanbok in this event.
I will visit this expo this year and get a suitable hanbok dress!
>> Correct! Very good sentences!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139575 The negative side of \" Should public libraries be allowed to... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1093
139574 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 2
139573 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1230
139572 How can reading benefit you? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139571 #1 Assignment ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1166
139570 2024.08.29 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139569 Did you grow up with pets in your home? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139568 What do you like the most about your family? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1434
139567 Would you rather have the perfect body or be super intelligent? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139566 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139565 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1539
139564 The things that would give a good first impression ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1588
139563 My feelings after apologizing ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1412
139562 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1179
139561 The best season ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 995
139560 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1213
139559 What is the importance of family? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139558 worst ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139557 features ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139556 Homework0829 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1055

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04