¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to change this answer into a couple of lines

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2025-01-22 449

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

0. Hobby
Do you have any hobbies?
Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?
à Yes, I have some pastimes that I relish during my spare time. For instance, I love reading books, and I also enjoy going for walks because it helps me relax. When I was a child, I had different hobbies. I really liked drawing and being creative, and I also spent a lot of time playing with building blocks. However, as I grew older, my interests have changed, and I now focus on activities that suit my current lifestyle.

Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?
Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?
à Certain pastimes, such as watching movies, are shared with my family, as we often bond over that activity. However, one personal pursuit I¡¯ve maintained since childhood is playing the piano. It¡¯s something I deeply cherish and find incredibly soothing, allowing me to express myself creatively over the years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Young In! Please check if the following works for you ^^ However, a couple of lines won¡¯t be enough to reach 6.5. The score you want requires sufficient elaboration in your answers. The score 6.5 in IELTS speaking typically requires more elaboration than just a couple of lines. While brief answers might be understandable, to score a 6.5, your responses should include more detail, examples, and development of your ideas. You need to show that you can expand on your answers clearly and logically. Simply giving short responses without much explanation would likely limit your score. 
~T. Jenna

0. Hobby
Do you have any hobbies?
Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?
à Yes, I have some pastimes that I relish during my spare time. For instance, I love reading books, and I also enjoy going for walks because it helps me relax. When I was a child, I had different hobbies. I really liked drawing and being creative, and I also spent a lot of time playing with building blocks. However, as I grew older, my interests have changed, and I now focus on activities that suit my current lifestyle.
>> 
I relish some pastimes like reading and walking to relax during my spare time. As a child, I loved drawing and playing with building blocks, but my interests have changed as I've grown.

Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?
Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?
à Certain pastimes, such as watching movies, are shared with my family, as we often bond over that activity. However, one personal pursuit I¡¯ve maintained since childhood is playing the piano. It¡¯s something I deeply cherish and find incredibly soothing, allowing me to express myself creatively over the years.
>>I share hobbies like watching movies with my family, as it helps us bond. However, playing the piano is a personal pursuit I've kept since childhood, and it's something I truly enjoy for its soothing and creative expression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141959 loneliness ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 520
141958 Sorry ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 819
141957 What activity do you want to squeeze into your routine? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 623
141956 How do you manage your day when you haven\'t had enough sleep? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 536
141955 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 596
141954 When was the last time you were late for something? Write about... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 801
141953 compare ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 0
141952 for children ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 0
141951 What¡¯s the best meeting/ gathering you¡¯ve ever had, and why... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 629
141950 Do you like meeting new people? Àå*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1
141949 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 1204
141948 What food do you always ask your mom to cook for you, and why is... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-14 684
141947 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-13 3
141946 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-13 2
141945 How can you change the mind of a person who doesn\'t like Korean... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-13 810
141944 What is the best mode of transport for you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-13 804
141943 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-13 540
141942 250113 homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2025-01-13 1
141941 The homework of 10th Jan. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-13 506
141940 Coffee has deep significance ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-13 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04