¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to change this answer into a couple of lines

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2025-01-22 2

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

0. Hobby
Do you have any hobbies?
Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?
à Yes, I have some pastimes that I relish during my spare time. For instance, I love reading books, and I also enjoy going for walks because it helps me relax. When I was a child, I had different hobbies. I really liked drawing and being creative, and I also spent a lot of time playing with building blocks. However, as I grew older, my interests have changed, and I now focus on activities that suit my current lifestyle.

Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?
Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?
à Certain pastimes, such as watching movies, are shared with my family, as we often bond over that activity. However, one personal pursuit I¡¯ve maintained since childhood is playing the piano. It¡¯s something I deeply cherish and find incredibly soothing, allowing me to express myself creatively over the years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Young In! Please check if the following works for you ^^ However, a couple of lines won¡¯t be enough to reach 6.5. The score you want requires sufficient elaboration in your answers. The score 6.5 in IELTS speaking typically requires more elaboration than just a couple of lines. While brief answers might be understandable, to score a 6.5, your responses should include more detail, examples, and development of your ideas. You need to show that you can expand on your answers clearly and logically. Simply giving short responses without much explanation would likely limit your score. 
~T. Jenna

0. Hobby
Do you have any hobbies?
Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?
à Yes, I have some pastimes that I relish during my spare time. For instance, I love reading books, and I also enjoy going for walks because it helps me relax. When I was a child, I had different hobbies. I really liked drawing and being creative, and I also spent a lot of time playing with building blocks. However, as I grew older, my interests have changed, and I now focus on activities that suit my current lifestyle.
>> 
I relish some pastimes like reading and walking to relax during my spare time. As a child, I loved drawing and playing with building blocks, but my interests have changed as I've grown.

Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?
Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?
à Certain pastimes, such as watching movies, are shared with my family, as we often bond over that activity. However, one personal pursuit I¡¯ve maintained since childhood is playing the piano. It¡¯s something I deeply cherish and find incredibly soothing, allowing me to express myself creatively over the years.
>>I share hobbies like watching movies with my family, as it helps us bond. However, playing the piano is a personal pursuit I've kept since childhood, and it's something I truly enjoy for its soothing and creative expression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142063 war ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 1
142062 beats me. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 2
142061 statue ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 1
142060 In your opinion, what is the most effective way to lose weight? À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 33
142059 What types of diets have you heard of? À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 30
142058 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 34
142057 Is there anything that helps you feel better when you\'re... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 40
142056 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 16
142055 culinary trend ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 14
142054 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 32
142053 1/17 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 36
142052 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 39
142051 Page 5 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-20 0
142050 What¡¯s the worst way to spend a weekend? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-19 48
142049 Have you ever tried alternative medicine, like acupuncture or... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-19 2
142048 What\'s your favorite story book? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-19 23
142047 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-19 1
142046 Are celebrities good role models for young people °­*¼º ¿Ï·á 2025-01-19 55
142045 11 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2025-01-18 39
142044 15 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2025-01-18 60

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04