¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to change this answer into a couple of lines

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2025-01-22 27

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

0. Hobby
Do you have any hobbies?
Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?
à Yes, I have some pastimes that I relish during my spare time. For instance, I love reading books, and I also enjoy going for walks because it helps me relax. When I was a child, I had different hobbies. I really liked drawing and being creative, and I also spent a lot of time playing with building blocks. However, as I grew older, my interests have changed, and I now focus on activities that suit my current lifestyle.

Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?
Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?
à Certain pastimes, such as watching movies, are shared with my family, as we often bond over that activity. However, one personal pursuit I¡¯ve maintained since childhood is playing the piano. It¡¯s something I deeply cherish and find incredibly soothing, allowing me to express myself creatively over the years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Young In! Please check if the following works for you ^^ However, a couple of lines won¡¯t be enough to reach 6.5. The score you want requires sufficient elaboration in your answers. The score 6.5 in IELTS speaking typically requires more elaboration than just a couple of lines. While brief answers might be understandable, to score a 6.5, your responses should include more detail, examples, and development of your ideas. You need to show that you can expand on your answers clearly and logically. Simply giving short responses without much explanation would likely limit your score. 
~T. Jenna

0. Hobby
Do you have any hobbies?
Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?
à Yes, I have some pastimes that I relish during my spare time. For instance, I love reading books, and I also enjoy going for walks because it helps me relax. When I was a child, I had different hobbies. I really liked drawing and being creative, and I also spent a lot of time playing with building blocks. However, as I grew older, my interests have changed, and I now focus on activities that suit my current lifestyle.
>> 
I relish some pastimes like reading and walking to relax during my spare time. As a child, I loved drawing and playing with building blocks, but my interests have changed as I've grown.

Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?
Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?
à Certain pastimes, such as watching movies, are shared with my family, as we often bond over that activity. However, one personal pursuit I¡¯ve maintained since childhood is playing the piano. It¡¯s something I deeply cherish and find incredibly soothing, allowing me to express myself creatively over the years.
>>I share hobbies like watching movies with my family, as it helps us bond. However, playing the piano is a personal pursuit I've kept since childhood, and it's something I truly enjoy for its soothing and creative expression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141628 What do you do if you upset someone? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-23 417
141627 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 397
141626 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 249
141625 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 215
141624 Where do you think is the best place to be? ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 1
141623 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 1
141622 HOMEWORK FOR 12.20.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you always... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 3
141621 What are your thoughts on space tourism? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 197
141620 Home work ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 195
141619 How do you handle days when you\'re just not feeling motivated... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 392
141618 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-21 326
141617 What is the cultural significance of food in Korea? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-21 240
141616 If you could work in any location in the world, where would it... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-21 1
141615 How can we educate others about environmental issues? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1
141614 What does ¡°stay positive in a negative situation¡± mean? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 209
141613 How do Korean retirees usually spend their days? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141612 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 393
141611 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 361
141610 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1
141609 What makes you happy these days? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04