¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I want to change this answer into a couple of lines

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2025-01-22 20

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

0. Hobby
Do you have any hobbies?
Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?
à Yes, I have some pastimes that I relish during my spare time. For instance, I love reading books, and I also enjoy going for walks because it helps me relax. When I was a child, I had different hobbies. I really liked drawing and being creative, and I also spent a lot of time playing with building blocks. However, as I grew older, my interests have changed, and I now focus on activities that suit my current lifestyle.

Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?
Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?
à Certain pastimes, such as watching movies, are shared with my family, as we often bond over that activity. However, one personal pursuit I¡¯ve maintained since childhood is playing the piano. It¡¯s something I deeply cherish and find incredibly soothing, allowing me to express myself creatively over the years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Young In! Please check if the following works for you ^^ However, a couple of lines won¡¯t be enough to reach 6.5. The score you want requires sufficient elaboration in your answers. The score 6.5 in IELTS speaking typically requires more elaboration than just a couple of lines. While brief answers might be understandable, to score a 6.5, your responses should include more detail, examples, and development of your ideas. You need to show that you can expand on your answers clearly and logically. Simply giving short responses without much explanation would likely limit your score. 
~T. Jenna

0. Hobby
Do you have any hobbies?
Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?
à Yes, I have some pastimes that I relish during my spare time. For instance, I love reading books, and I also enjoy going for walks because it helps me relax. When I was a child, I had different hobbies. I really liked drawing and being creative, and I also spent a lot of time playing with building blocks. However, as I grew older, my interests have changed, and I now focus on activities that suit my current lifestyle.
>> 
I relish some pastimes like reading and walking to relax during my spare time. As a child, I loved drawing and playing with building blocks, but my interests have changed as I've grown.

Do you have the same hobbies as your family members?
Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?
à Certain pastimes, such as watching movies, are shared with my family, as we often bond over that activity. However, one personal pursuit I¡¯ve maintained since childhood is playing the piano. It¡¯s something I deeply cherish and find incredibly soothing, allowing me to express myself creatively over the years.
>>I share hobbies like watching movies with my family, as it helps us bond. However, playing the piano is a personal pursuit I've kept since childhood, and it's something I truly enjoy for its soothing and creative expression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141740 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141739 Spend your time on good activities ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1
141738 How can you convince someone to stop smoking? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 354
141737 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 386
141736 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1
141735 What is the most popular place in your country? Describe it. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 267
141734 If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate, and... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 328
141733 Describe a place that makes you feel happy and explain why it¡¯s... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 323
141732 What are your new year\'s resolutions? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 328
141731 How do companies in your country treat sick workers? Do... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 3
141730 How do you plan to stay motivated in continuing or doing your... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 366
141729 New Year beats inertia ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 333
141728 What¡¯s one change you want to make in your daily routine for... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 305
141727 Dear Gemma, I took a mistake!!! ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 751
141726 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141725 What schoolwork do you enjoy doing? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-01 360
141724 How will you achieve your goals? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2024-12-31 307
141723 How can the accident at Jeju Air be related to your course... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 840
141722 Provide at least five (5) adjectives that you can use to... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 351
141721 About dream Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 346

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04