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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What\'s your wish for Lunar New Year?

작성자: 노*철
2025-01-22 1024

회원님의 영작문

I asked the same question to me and to my family on New Year's Day.
Even now, my wish is the same.
I want everyone involved with me and me to be happy.
I'm doing a lot of activities.
I am playing the violin and the recorder, playing golf and exercise, and studying English.
However, I want all of these to be fun activities without being considered a heavy loads.
I saw again how beautiful this world is by playing an instruments.
This is why the world looked beautiful because I was happy with my performance.
I would never be happy if my activities are like doing hard homework.
Let's all be happy~~

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David. Your homework is truly inspiring and beautifully written! I love how you expressed your wish for happiness, not just for yourself but for everyone connected to you. It’s so heartfelt and thoughtful. The way you described your various activities, from playing instruments to studying English, shows your passion for learning and growth. It’s especially touching how you find joy in these activities and see the world’s beauty through them. Your positive outlook is contagious, and the closing message, "Let’s all be happy," brings everything together in such a warm way. Keep up the great work!


~ T. Lia


I asked the same question to me and to my family on New Year's Day.
>> I asked myself and my family the same question on New Year's Day.


Even now, my wish is the same.
>> CORRECT


I want everyone involved with me and me to be happy.
>> I want everyone involved with me, including myself, to be happy.


I’m doing a lot of activities.
>> CORRECT


I am playing the violin and the recorder, playing golf and exercise, and studying English.
>> I am playing the violin and the recorder, playing golf, exercising, and studying English.


However, I want all of these to be fun activities without being considered a heavy loads.
>> However, I want all of these to be fun activities without being considered heavy loads.


I saw again how beautiful this world is by playing an instruments.
>> I saw again how beautiful this world is by playing instruments.


This is why the world looked beautiful because I was happy with my performance.
>> The world looked beautiful to me because I was happy with my performance.


I would never be happy if my activities are like doing hard homework.
>> I would never be happy if my activities felt like doing hard homework.


Let's all be happy~~
>> CORRECT or

>> Let's all be happy!

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