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What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought for yourself

작성자: 오*영
2025-01-21 10

회원님의 영작문

When I thought about that, I remember my bag at first.
But, it's a kind of present from my husband so, I didn't buy it.
I think about that more, I can remember that It is my i-phone.
I brought the phone for my birthday present to me by myself.
It might be brought almost 4 years ago. and It was the new one at that time.
Now, the phone is getting older like me.
Even though I heard the news that it is released the new version that 16series.
When I heard about that, I thought that time is past.
However, It works well. So I don't need to care about its age.
I still want it to use in my usual days, if it works well as now.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Stella! You must've taken good care of your phone, that’s why it’s still working well until now. When we take care of things, they last.  But I think, sometime in the future, you deserve a phone upgrade. ^^ Thank you for always doing your homework. Have a great day!
~T. Jewel
When I thought about that, I remember my bag at first.
>>When I think about that, my bag is the first thing I remember.
But, it's a kind of present from my husband so, I didn't buy it.
>>But it was a present from my husband, so I didn't actually buy it.
I think about that more, I can remember that It is my i-phone.
>>The more I think about it, the more I remember that it’s my iPhone.
I brought the phone for my birthday present to me by myself.
>>I bought the phone as a birthday present for myself.
It might be brought almost 4 years ago. and It was the new one at that time.
>>It might have been bought almost 4 years ago, and it was new at that time.
Now, the phone is getting older like me.
>>Now, the phone is getting older, just like me.
Even though I heard the news that it is released the new version that 16series.
>>Now, I’ve heard the news that the new 16 series version has been released.
When I heard about that, I thought that time is past.
>>When I heard about that, I thought that time had passed.
However, It works well. 
>>However, it still works well.
So I don't need to care about its age.
>>So I don’t care about its age.
I still want it to use in my usual days, if it works well as now.
>>I still want to use it in my daily life if it continues to work well like it does now.
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