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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Should we take care of the elderly at home or put them in nursing homes?

작성자: 손*희
2025-01-21 764

회원님의 영작문

I think we should take care of the elderly in nursing homes.
First, there is the provision of professional care services. Nursing homes are facilities that offer specialized care services for the elderly. They have various professionals, including medical staff, nurses, and social workers, who ensure the health and safety of the elderly residents. This is especially crucial for elderly individuals with chronic illnesses or special care needs, as professional management is essential. In a home setting, family members may find it challenging to meet all medical requirements, which can negatively impact the health of the elderly.
Second, there is a reduction in the burden on families. Caring for the elderly at home can place a significant burden on family members. Especially for those who need to balance work and household responsibilities, it can be challenging to find the time and energy required for elderly care.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Hana! Thank you for this homework. Inasmuch as this setup is ideal. care facilities are either too expensive, or too cramped due to the increasing number of the elderly. Families shouls do their best for the welfare of their loved ones. See you in the class!
--Teacher Anji

I think we should take care of the elderly in nursing homes.
>> CORRECT
First, there is the provision of professional care services. 
or >>First, there is the provision of professional care.
Nursing homes are facilities that offer specialized care services for the elderly. 
OR >> Nursing homes are facilities that provide specialized care for the elderly.
They have various professionals, including medical staff, nurses, and social workers, who ensure the health and safety of the elderly residents. 
>> They have various professionals, including medical staff, nurses, and social workers, who ensure the health and safety of elderly residents.
This is especially crucial for elderly individuals with chronic illnesses or special care needs, as professional management is essential. 
>> CORRECT
In a home setting, family members may find it challenging to meet all medical requirements, which can negatively impact the health of the elderly.
>> In a home setting, family members may find it challenging to meet all medical requirements, which can negatively affect the health of the elderly.
Second, there is a reduction in the burden on families. 
>> Second, there is a reduction in the burden on families.
Caring for the elderly at home can place a significant burden on family members. 
>> CORRECT
Especially for those who need to balance work and household responsibilities, it can be challenging to find the time and energy required for elderly care.
OR >> Especially for those who must balance work and household responsibilities, it can be difficult to find the time and energy needed for elderly care.
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