¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is better to grow up in, poverty or in wealth?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2025-01-14 324

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This is a valid point. I like how you shared your insights about this. Being born wealthy is a privilege. I wish I were on of the lucky one. See you!
-Teacher Anji

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
>> This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is the better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. 
>> CORRECT
These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. 
>> CORRECT
In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
>> CORRECT
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. 
or >> Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources.
Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. 
>> CORRECT
This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139058 What\'s the worst experience you\'ve had in your hometown? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 980
139057 8/9 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 2
139056 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 1
139055 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 2
139054 What are the advantages of using credit cards compared to cash? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 2
139053 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 4
139052 What was the most popular music when you were 12 years old, what... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1202
139051 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 0
139050 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1920
139049 [HW]What body language would you like your country to adopt? Why? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1135
139048 The negative side on \" Should people become vegetarian? \" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1010
139047 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1
139046 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1133
139045 What do you think of your class leaders? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1156
139044 Popular car amongst peer ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1092
139043 Writing task: What do you think is the most challenging role for... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1164
139042 Having a conversation with native speakers of English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 967
139041 Q) How can a person effectively prepare for a job interview? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 0
139040 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 859
139039 How do you handle problems when you encounter one? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 912

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04