¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is better to grow up in, poverty or in wealth?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2025-01-14 306

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This is a valid point. I like how you shared your insights about this. Being born wealthy is a privilege. I wish I were on of the lucky one. See you!
-Teacher Anji

This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is a better choice.
>> This essay will discuss why growing up in a wealthy environment is the better choice.
First, a wealthy environment offers diverse experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Travel, cultural experiences, and various social activities contribute to broadening an individual's perspective and developing social skills. 
>> CORRECT
These experiences play a vital role in shaping one's identity and positively influencing future career choices. 
>> CORRECT
In impoverished environments, such experiences are often limited, constraining personal growth.
>> CORRECT
Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources. 
or >> Second, individuals raised in wealthy environments can leverage more networks and resources.
Social capital is a critical factor in personal success, and those who grow up in affluent families can access more opportunities through this capital. 
>> CORRECT
This positively impacts not only professional success but also social status and stability.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139297 Fake news ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1346
139296 Writing task: What do you think are the disadvantages of getting... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1243
139295 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1239
139294 success ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1053
139293 appearance is not important maybe ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1043
139292 Do you always believe what people tell you? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1210
139291 How do you decide on your travel destinations? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1063
139290 Is the traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1051
139289 What are acceptable reasons for missing an appointment? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 979
139288 Q) What do you think is the best thing about being a mother? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139287 Medical emergency ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1340
139286 If all jobs had the same pay, which one would you choose to do? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1105
139285 Why do some people have more difficulty than others when... ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-19 1093
139284 What do you think of the sound and smell of rain? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-19 1962
139283 What do you usually carry with you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-19 2
139282 No ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-19 1478
139281 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-19 3
139280 About korean band ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-19 1238
139279 How does social media influence the way people communicate with... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-19 1134
139278 howework ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04