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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

how long do you think you could survive being unemployed?

작성자: 최*연
2025-01-09 557

회원님의 영작문

Hmm.. Certainly, I really affect the climate and weather. I love clear and colorful scenes in my life, but winter is like a black-and-white film movie. That makes me calm.

I think it's hard to live a single day! However, one of the most serious problems in Korea is that a number of the young who takes breaking from doing nothing are increasing! They even don't have a part-time job. They maybe are in home almost all day. But why it comes true is that many other people helps them, such as parents, government, friends, etc..
In some extent, I emphasize them. This is because they experienced difficulties at work before or they may be resting enough for their own next plan.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Seo Yeon!
After quitting the first company, I too had a period of unemployment for a few months. With regard to what you said, our experience might have affected our careers. Not everyone is certain of what they truly want to do. Some people truly need other people's support and inspiration because they are lost.
Chammy
Hmm.. Certainly, I really affect the climate and weather. 
>> Hmm... Certainly, climate and weather really affect me.
I love clear and colorful scenes in my life, but winter is like a black-and-white film movie. That makes me calm.
OR
>>In my life, I enjoy bright, vivid sceneries, but winter is like a black-and-white movie that calms me down.
I think it's hard to live a single day! 
>> Correct
However, one of the most serious problems in Korea is that a number of the young who takes breaking from doing nothing are increasing!
>> However, the growing number of young people in Korea who take breaks from doing nothing is one of the country's most serious issues!
They even don't have a part-time job. 
>> They don't even have a part-time job.
They maybe are in home almost all day.
>> They are maybe at home almost all day.
OR
>> Perhaps they spend nearly the entire day at home.
 But why it comes true is that many other people helps them, such as parents, government, friends, etc..
>> But it's true that when people such as the parents, government, etc. help them, they make it happen.
In some extent, I emphasize them. This is because they experienced difficulties at work before or they may be resting enough for their own next plan.
>> To some extent, I emphasize them. This is because they experienced difficulties at work before or they may be resting enough for their own next plan.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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