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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How do you spend meaningful time together with your family whether in person or virtually?

작성자: 노*철
2025-01-08 399

회원님의 영작문

Considering my environment, it can be very difficult to spend meaningful time with my family in person.
My family spent a really long time together and happy time until my two daughters became first graders in elementary school.
As my wife and daughters studied abroad in Germany, we spent a lot of time apart, but we shared our daily lives with each other through a long video call.
Even though the body was far away, we were able to continue to maintain such intimacy that we felt like we were separately next door for a while.
What I felt at this time was that spending the most meaningful time with my family, whether together or apart, is having an intimate conversation.
No matter what family lives together in the same house, it can never be said that families spend meaningful time if they are busy doing their own work without conversation.
Of course, I can't talk much with my family now either.
However, even if it's a short conversation, I think it's okay if it contains love in it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David, I just wanted to say how amazing your homework response was! The way you shared your experiences with your family was both heartfelt and inspiring. Your reflections on the importance of love and meaningful conversations truly stood out. This wasn’t just a homework. It was a beautiful reminder of what really matters in life. Great job!


~ T. Lia


Considering my environment, it can be very difficult to spend meaningful time with my family in person.
>> CORRECT

My family spent a really long time together and happy time until my two daughters became first graders in elementary school.
>> My family spent a really long and happy time together until my two daughters became first graders in elementary school.

As my wife and daughters studied abroad in Germany, we spent a lot of time apart, but we shared our daily lives with each other through a long video call.
>> As my wife and daughters studied abroad in Germany, we spent a lot of time apart, but we shared our daily lives with each other through long video calls.

Even though the body was far away, we were able to continue to maintain such intimacy that we felt like we were separately next door for a while.
>> Even though we were far apart, we were able to maintain such intimacy that it felt like we were living next door to each other.

What I felt at this time was that spending the most meaningful time with my family, whether together or apart, is having an intimate conversation.
>> What I felt at that time was that spending the most meaningful time with my family, whether together or apart, involves having intimate conversations.

No matter what family lives together in the same house, it can never be said that families spend meaningful time if they are busy doing their own work without conversation.
>>No matter what, even if a family lives together in the same house, it can never be said that they spend meaningful time together if they are busy doing their own work without conversation.

Of course, I can't talk much with my family now either.
>> CORRECT

However, even if it's a short conversation, I think it's okay if it contains love in it.
>> However, even if it's a short conversation, I think it's okay as long as it contains love.
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