¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did the plane crash in Jeju?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-01-02 417

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
😢

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another correced composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Have a good night's sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                     

                             
                                    Why did the plane crash in Jeju?


First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
>> First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan Airport. Many experts say the landing gear broke down or malfunctioned but some people think it's because of a bird strike.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141363 before ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 0
141362 If you could watch only one movie for the rest of your life,... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 563
141361 With your professional political opinion, what must a President... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 0
141360 In what ways are your weekends different from your normal... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 3
141359 The role of media have to do restrain the government ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-06 434
141358 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 1
141357 Which is a better reading material, fiction or nonfiction? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 530
141356 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 0
141355 tomorrow lesson subject ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 6
141354 Why do most people think that healthy food is not delicious? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 483
141353 Convenion Store ¾È*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 0
141352 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 380
141351 What\'s the best transportation when you go on a trip with... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 544
141350 How do you make the most of your life every day? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 2
141349 What do you want for your country in the future? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 573
141348 Whys is it important for people to save money? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 569
141347 What do you think a nation be like without a president? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 1859
141346 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 0
141345 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 1434
141344 Would you rather watch a movie in the theater with popcorn or at... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-05 504

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04