¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why did the plane crash in Jeju?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-01-02 116

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
😢

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another correced composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Have a good night's sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                     

                             
                                    Why did the plane crash in Jeju?


First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan airport many expert say landing gear is broke down but some people think it's because of bird strike.
>> First of all, it's not Jeju but Muan Airport. Many experts say the landing gear broke down or malfunctioned but some people think it's because of a bird strike.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141686 >Did you like asking for help from your colleagues when you... ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-27 2
141685 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-27 145
141684 Regular maintenance ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-27 157
141683 Which is better for young people in order to prepare for the... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 155
141682 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 1
141681 Are you a good sport? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 154
141680 What do you think is the worst sport ever created? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 173
141679 It was a fantastic trip ever in Jeju Island! ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 157
141678 The situation that suits me well nowadays ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 157
141677 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 1
141676 Are there specific rules for smoking areas? Give me some... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 144
141675 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 144
141674 What are your New Year\'s goals? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 139
141673 If you had to live off convenience store food for a day, what... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 154
141672 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 152
141671 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 173
141670 Write about this topic, \"How Family Traditions Make Christmas... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 263
141669 Her handicraft ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 148
141668 What are you worried about? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 145
141667 Give 5 positive statements to about you. ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04