¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write about this topic, \"How Family Traditions Make Christmas Special¡±.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-12-26 265

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My family had a Christmas routine when my two daughters were young.
The best place to feel Christmas in Korea is the hotel.
My family spent time at the hotel and ate delicious foods and I made plans for the next year.
But now we only share Christmas cards with each other.
Of course, we eat delicious foods.
This year, we spent Christmas separately for the first time.
My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort and I spent my time practicing music.
Now all of my family is an adult, so we need to make a new Christmas tradition.
Tradition must also depend on the environment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, your message was clear and well-written! It nicely captured your Christmas experiences and how they¡¯ve evolved over the years. I enjoyed the heartfelt tone and the way you shared your reflections on family traditions and adapting to new circumstances. It¡¯s a touching glimpse into your holiday memories. Thanks for sharing!

~ T. Lia 

My family had a Christmas routine when my two daughters were young.
>> CORRECT

The best place to feel Christmas in Korea is the hotel.
>> CORRECT

My family spent time at the hotel and ate delicious foods and I made plans for the next year.
>> My family spent time at the hotel, ate delicious food, and I made plans for the next year.

But now we only share Christmas cards with each other.
>> CORRECT

Of course, we eat delicious foods.
>> Of course, we eat delicious food.

This year, we spent Christmas separately for the first time.
>> CORRECT

My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort and I spent my time practicing music.
>> My wife and two daughters spent their time at the ski resort, while I spent mine practicing music.

Now all of my family is an adult, so we need to make a new Christmas tradition. 
>> Now that all of my family members are adults, we need to create a new Christmas tradition.

Tradition must also depend on the environment.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141411 How do you feel when someone is kind to you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 218
141410 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 200
141409 What volunteer work do you see yourself doing? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 213
141408 Should beauty standards include people of all shapes, sizes, and... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 235
141407 What part does luck play in success? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 206
141406 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 199
141405 Is it fair to punish children for making mistakes? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 243
141404 What¡¯s your favorite part of having a friend stay over at your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 216
141403 ¡°How My Daily Routine Reflects My Personal Growth¡± ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 213
141402 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 191
141401 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 224
141400 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 227
141399 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 2
141398 Is there any form of greeting you want to change? Explain¡£ ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 2
141397 The government should help people Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 3
141396 What do you like to do every day? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 903
141395 Do you enjoy observing what other people are doing? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-09 347
141394 Do you usually have coffee, tea, or something else with your... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 7
141393 Why do you think that most people take a nap in the middle of... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 333
141392 Write about your most memorable Friday. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-08 339

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04