¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2024-12-18 238

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: What is more important to take care of: mental health or physical health?
A: I think mental health would be more important to take care of.
If one don't take care of physical health much, he would feel sick and maybe get hurt easily, but it is temporary.
But if one don't take care of mental health, the misery would remain for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Paul!
I understand your point. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
~ Teacher Trixia

CONTENT:
I think mental health would be more important to take care of.
- I think mental health is more important to take care of. 
If one don't take care of physical health much, he would feel sick and maybe get hurt easily, but it is temporary.
- If someone doesn't take care of their physical health, they might feel sick or get injured easily, but that is usually temporary. 
But if one don't take care of mental health, the misery would remain for a long time.
- However, if someone neglects their mental health, the distress can last much longer.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140058 Someone once said: \"Anger is one letter short of danger.\" Do... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0
140057 Have you been in a situation where you have to choose between... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0
140056 23.Sep.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0
140055 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 1207
140054 If there are people that you do not want to come to your... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 1301
140053 What was the last request someone made of you that you were... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 771
140052 Can you provide an example of a hobby that you consider a waste... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 901
140051 Why is it important to ask for help when you need it? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140050 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140049 Should animal testing be illegal or legal? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 970
140048 Why is it important to ask for help when you need it? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 2
140047 Homework 0924 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1410
140046 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1059
140045 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140044 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140043 Trip alone ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 997
140042 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1
140041 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140040 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140039 trust ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04