¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2024-12-18 225

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: What is more important to take care of: mental health or physical health?
A: I think mental health would be more important to take care of.
If one don't take care of physical health much, he would feel sick and maybe get hurt easily, but it is temporary.
But if one don't take care of mental health, the misery would remain for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Paul!
I understand your point. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
~ Teacher Trixia

CONTENT:
I think mental health would be more important to take care of.
- I think mental health is more important to take care of. 
If one don't take care of physical health much, he would feel sick and maybe get hurt easily, but it is temporary.
- If someone doesn't take care of their physical health, they might feel sick or get injured easily, but that is usually temporary. 
But if one don't take care of mental health, the misery would remain for a long time.
- However, if someone neglects their mental health, the distress can last much longer.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140314 When did you start watching cartoons? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 0
140313 Do you think Facebook should have a \"Dislike\" button? Why or... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 0
140312 Ten million dallors ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1123
140311 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1
140310 How might eating habits change in the coming decades? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 2
140309 Should parents help their children plan their future? Why or why... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 891
140308 What type of transportation do you prefer when traveling? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 983
140307 How will you spend this coming weekend? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 0
140306 The most memorable trip. ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 3
140305 What is the best vacation you have ever taken? What made it... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 2
140304 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1052
140303 first homework ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 884
140302 Do you think grammar is important when you learn a new language? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1
140301 What do you find most interesting about your major? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 0
140300 Should more people use public transport instead of cars or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1072
140299 Which among your stuff do you need to throw away? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 832
140298 What topics do you usually talk about if you meet a person for... Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 921
140297 What¡¯s the most interesting or unique club or organization... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 998
140296 submitted homework : the country where I don\'t like to visit ÀÌ*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 1
140295 7.Oct.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04