¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2024-12-18 128

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: What is more important to take care of: mental health or physical health?
A: I think mental health would be more important to take care of.
If one don't take care of physical health much, he would feel sick and maybe get hurt easily, but it is temporary.
But if one don't take care of mental health, the misery would remain for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Paul!
I understand your point. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
~ Teacher Trixia

CONTENT:
I think mental health would be more important to take care of.
- I think mental health is more important to take care of. 
If one don't take care of physical health much, he would feel sick and maybe get hurt easily, but it is temporary.
- If someone doesn't take care of their physical health, they might feel sick or get injured easily, but that is usually temporary. 
But if one don't take care of mental health, the misery would remain for a long time.
- However, if someone neglects their mental health, the distress can last much longer.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141197 Homework ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 239
141196 Do you think our obsession with capturing moments through... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 236
141195 HOOMEWORK ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 225
141194 Homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1
141193 What will make you a regular customer in a hotel? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1
141192 HOMEWORK FOR 11.27.2024 WRITING TASK: How can a person stay... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 3
141191 How can being brave help you in life? ¹è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 218
141190 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 245
141189 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 215
141188 What are you most excited about when it comes to opening your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 242
141187 Just in case, send the file and answer in 2 sentences together ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 208
141186 People admire the life of influencers at social media\'s feed. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 215
141185 How much free time do you usually have every day? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 2
141184 My English book ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 3
141183 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1
141182 If you could switch careers with someone famous for a day, who... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 254
141181 Which country would be the most enjoyable to live in? What makes... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 4
141180 Which is the best activity for tourism, domestic or... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 232
141179 What is more important to take care of: mental health or... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 4
141178 Hom work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 245

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04