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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Write about the topic, “How music enhances storytelling in movies or shows.”

작성자: 노*철
2024-12-18 1044

회원님의 영작문

Generally, we use words when people and people communicate and share their feelings.
In movies and shows, we use words to convey meaning and continue the story.
However, sometimes it is more effective when conveying meaning with an actor's facial expression than with many words.
In this case, music can further maximize the communication of meaning.
After a movie or show, many people will definitely remember the scene in the movie and the music that comes with it rather than the actor's lines.
If we forget a movie or show we saw after a while, when we happen to hear some music, we will recall the movies and shows we saw again.
Music not only has a magical effect that creates unforgettable scenes in movies or shows, but it also reminds us of our beautiful or heartbreaking memories that we have forgotten.
Music is not only storytelling in movies or shows, but it is still storytelling in our lives.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David. I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed reading your responses to the topic given. Your insights were incredibly thoughtful and well-articulated, and I truly appreciated how you presented your ideas. The way you backed up your points with relatable examples and logical reasoning really stood out to me. Thank you for sharing your ideas so clearly and passionately. It was such a pleasure to read them!


~ T. Lia

Generally, we use words when people and people communicate and share their feelings.
>> Generally, we use words when people communicate and share their feelings.


In movies and shows, we use words to convey meaning and continue the story.
>> CORRECT


However, sometimes it is more effective when conveying meaning with an actor's facial expression than with many words.
>> However, sometimes it is more effective to convey meaning through an actor's facial expression than with many words.


In this case, music can further maximize the communication of meaning.
>> CORRECT


After a movie or show, many people will definitely remember the scene in the movie and the music that comes with it rather than the actor's lines.
>> After a movie or show, many people will definitely remember the scenes and the music that accompanies them rather than the actor's lines.


If we forget a movie or show we saw after a while, when we happen to hear some music, we will recall the movies and shows we saw again.
>> If we forget a movie or show we saw after some time, hearing the music from it may help us recall it again.


Music not only has a magical effect that creates unforgettable scenes in movies or shows, but it also reminds us of our beautiful or heartbreaking memories that we have forgotten.
>> CORRECT


Music is not only storytelling in movies or shows, but it is still storytelling in our lives.
>> Music is not only a form of storytelling in movies or shows, but it is also storytelling in our lives.

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