¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-12-17 965

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is kind of disease which sex chromosome's position was wrong.
If they behave against gender, it can be caused another disease.
Person's sprit is high position than desire of their body.
So they have to control their desires if it can ruin other's life.
Therefore I will not support their behavior.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Sunny!
I understand your point. While the world is normalizing this phenomenon, I would still stand by my principle. I respect these minority groups but sorry to say that I don't agree with their practices and behavior especially if the society is involved. 
Thank you for this homework and I appreciate your effort to express yourself in English.
Aki~

It is kind of disease which sex chromosome's position was wrong.
>>> It is a kind of disease in which the sex chromosome's position is wrong.

If they behave against gender, it can be caused another disease.
>>> If they behave against their gender, it can cause another disease.

Person's sprit is high position than desire of their body.
>>> A person's spirit is higher than the desire of their body.

So they have to control their desires if it can ruin other's life.
>>> So they have to control their desires if they can ruin other's lives.

Therefore I will not support their behavior.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141335 What do you do to keep fit? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1
141334 Which is more effective in expressing how you feel: Words or... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1192
141333 How can we make sure our rights are not taken away? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1571
141332 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1241
141331 How do you define possibilities in your life? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1054
141330 What\'s the most memorable winter vacation you have had? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1265
141329 >> Someone once said: ¡°For every minute you are angry, you lose... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 0
141328 >> If you were an employer, what would you consider the top two... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1
141327 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1180
141326 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1236
141325 Homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 0
141324 Have you ever had to step in and help during a difficult time... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1251
141323 How much time do you spend outdoors every week? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1310
141322 Why is it important to follow guidelines and principles? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1149
141321 When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1167
141320 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1177
141319 02Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1221
141318 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1321
141317 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1316
141316 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 1343

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04