¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

¡±How musical instruments play an important role in expressing emotions¡±

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-12-13 1449

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Everyone cannot be free from stress.
Even though good emotions dominate our lives, when we meet difficult situations, bad emotions dominate us and do not stay in our thoughts, but affect others badly through words or actions.
A musical instrument is like a lover.
Hugging and playing string instruments such as classic guitars and violins with loving emotions makes my feelings of love many times bigger.
However, when I play with depressing and bad emotions, the instrument comfort me, and sometimes I cry when I hear the talking of the instrument.
In my case, the violin or classical guitar is not just a musical instrument, it is like a lover I love and have a conversation with.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey David. I just finished reading through your responses, and I have to say, you¡¯ve truly outdone yourself! Your words are not only clear but full of depth and emotion. It¡¯s rare to see writing that connects so meaningfully, and you¡¯ve absolutely nailed it. Your writing is thoughtful, expressive, and full of heart. Keep up the great work.

~ T. Lia

Everyone cannot be free from stress.
>> CORRECT


Even though good emotions dominate our lives, when we meet difficult situations, bad emotions dominate us and do not stay in our thoughts, but affect others badly through words or actions.
>> Even though good emotions dominate our lives, when we face difficult situations, bad emotions take over, and they not only linger in our thoughts but also negatively affect others through words or actions.


A musical instrument is like a lover.
>> CORRECT


Hugging and playing string instruments such as classic guitars and violins with loving emotions makes my feelings of love many times bigger.
>> Hugging and playing string instruments such as classical guitars and violins with loving emotions amplify my feelings of love many times over.


However, when I play with depressing and bad emotions, the instrument comfort me, and sometimes I cry when I hear the talking of the instrument.
>> However, when I play with depressing and bad emotions, the instrument comforts me, and sometimes I cry when I hear the instrument's voice.


In my case, the violin or classical guitar is not just a musical instrument, it is like a lover I love and have a conversation with.
>> In my case, the violin or classical guitar is not just a musical instrument; it is like a lover I cherish and converse with.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141625 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 992
141624 Where do you think is the best place to be? ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 1
141623 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 1
141622 HOMEWORK FOR 12.20.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you always... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 3
141621 What are your thoughts on space tourism? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 1202
141620 Home work ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 862
141619 How do you handle days when you\'re just not feeling motivated... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-22 977
141618 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-21 930
141617 What is the cultural significance of food in Korea? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-21 1154
141616 If you could work in any location in the world, where would it... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-21 1
141615 How can we educate others about environmental issues? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1
141614 What does ¡°stay positive in a negative situation¡± mean? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1000
141613 How do Korean retirees usually spend their days? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141612 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1000
141611 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1060
141610 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1
141609 What makes you happy these days? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 2
141608 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1299
141607 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1162
141606 How do you see yourself 10 years from now? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-20 1393

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04