¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is a better means of livelihood, employment in a company or entrepreneurship?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-12-12 431

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood. Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively. Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs. These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need. In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Great job on this one! You raised interesting and valid points. Your ideas are clear and relevant. Let us talk further in the class. See you!
--Teacher Anji

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
>> CORRECT
 Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. 
>> CORRECT
In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.
>> CORRECT
Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively. 
>> CORRECT
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. 
>> CORRECT
Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs.
>> CORRECT
These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
>> CORRECT
 In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141318 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 600
141317 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 607
141316 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 750
141315 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 709
141314 If your life were made into a movie, who would play you? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 938
141313 avoid visiting tourists traps ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 836
141312 Where do you think is the best retirement place in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 3
141311 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-04 0
141310 homework ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 790
141309 What are your thoughts on the bus stations of your country? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 958
141308 How does a young boy like you take care of your skin? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 788
141307 Which is more effective in expressing how you feel: Words or... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 3
141306 Would you rather be a leader or a follower? Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 2
141305 What do you usually order in your favorite restaurant? Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 2
141304 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 642
141303 Are there any patterns you avoid wearing? Why? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 881
141302 Homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 1
141301 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 1
141300 toilet ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 0
141299 scientist ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04