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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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Which is a better means of livelihood, employment in a company or entrepreneurship?

작성자: 손*희
2024-12-12 225

회원님의 영작문

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively.
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs. These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Hana! Great job on this one! There was a very minor correction. Your idea is on point Let us discuss further in the class. See you!
-Teacher Anji

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
>> I think employment at a company is a better means of livelihood.
Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. 
>> CORRECT
In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively.
>> CORRECT
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. 
>> CORRECT
Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs.
>> CORRECT
These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
>> CORRECT
In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.
>> CORRECT
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