¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think of men who apply makeup on their faces or use a lot of skincare products?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-12-10 161

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think they are not bed because if put on makeup make look pretty or cool so I think men apply makeup is not bed.
But I don't like makeup because reality is good, too.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your correced composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Good evening! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                     


                             What do you think of men who apply makeup on their faces or use a lot of skincare products?



I think they are not bed because if put on makeup make look pretty or cool so I think men apply makeup is not bed.
>> I don't disapprove of them because putting on makeup makes one look pretty or cool so I think men applying makeup is not bad.

But I don't like makeup because reality is good, too.
>> But I don't like to put on makeup because the natural look is good, too.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141181 Which country would be the most enjoyable to live in? What makes... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 4
141180 Which is the best activity for tourism, domestic or... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 233
141179 What is more important to take care of: mental health or... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 4
141178 Hom work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 246
141177 What do you think is the best way to end a weekend? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 249
141176 How can we be good friends to others? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 2
141175 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 0
141174 How do you choose which movie to watch? By the genre? The... ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 224
141173 Very common, Very important ¾È*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1
141172 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 222
141171 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 227
141170 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 249
141169 Do you think it\'s necessary to wear a dress shirt at work? Why... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 269
141168 What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a sibling? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 224
141167 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 255
141166 being dentist ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 0
141165 dentist ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1
141164 What¡¯s the most unforgettable experience you¡¯ve had with your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 270
141163 Interview self introduction ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 257
141162 It\'s a message that makes childhood is so tired. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 266

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04