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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Job interview_self introduction

작성자: 김*린
2024-12-10 167

회원님의 영작문

Hello,
my name is YeLin Kim, and I am applying for the Quality Assurance Intern position at PharmaResearch.
During my university years, I gained experience in a lab where I analyzed experimental data and solved problems, building my quality management skills. In particular, I worked on resolving inconsistencies in polymer synthesis by analyzing quality variables and conducting repeated experiments to identify the primary cause. Through this process, I learned the importance of meticulous documentation and systematic approaches in improving quality, which sparked my interest in addressing potential issues in quality assurance.

Through this internship, I aim to gain practical experience in GMP and grow as a quality assurance expert who can contribute to enhancing PharmaResearch’s competitive edge in quality management.

Thank you.

Q. Is it normal to introduce myself "my name is~" or "I'm~"?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey there, Lin! Your introduction is impressive and highlights your relevant experience and dedication. Best of luck with your interview – I’m confident you’ll make a strong impression!
~T. Jenna

Hello, my name is YeLin Kim, and I am applying for the Quality Assurance Intern position at PharmaResearch.
Correct, or
>>Hello, my name is YeLin Kim, and I’m excited to be here today to apply for the Quality Assurance Intern position at PharmaResearch.
During my university years, I gained experience in a lab where I analyzed experimental data and solved problems, building my quality management skills. 
>>During my university years, I gained experience in a laboratory where I analyzed experimental data and solved problems, which helped me develop my quality management skills.
OR
>>During my university studies, I gained hands-on experience in a laboratory where I conducted data analysis and problem-solving tasks, which helped me develop strong quality management skills.
In particular, I worked on resolving inconsistencies in polymer synthesis by analyzing quality variables and conducting repeated experiments to identify the primary cause. 
Correct, or
>>One project I’m particularly proud of involved addressing inconsistencies in polymer synthesis. I carefully analyzed quality variables and conducted multiple experiments to identify the root cause.
Through this process, I learned the importance of meticulous documentation and systematic approaches in improving quality, which sparked my interest in addressing potential issues in quality assurance.
Correct, or
>>This experience taught me the importance of detailed documentation and systematic methods in ensuring quality, and it sparked my passion for preventing and solving quality assurance challenges.
Through this internship, I aim to gain practical experience in GMP and grow as a quality assurance expert who can contribute to enhancing PharmaResearch’s competitive edge in quality management.
Correct, or
>>I’m really excited about the chance to gain hands-on experience with GMP and grow as a quality assurance professional who can help PharmaResearch maintain its strong position in quality management.
Thank you.
Correct, or
>>Thank you for the opportunity to speak with you today.

****
My name is 
>> This option is slightly more formal and polished, which may be suitable for interviews in traditional or corporate settings.

I'm
>>This option feels more natural and conversational, making it a good choice for less formal interviews or when you want to appear approachable.


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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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