¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What changes would you like to see in your country\'s educational system? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿¬
2024-12-10 1342

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to see changes for national college entrance exam in our country education.
Because it is only one chance to show our intelligence.
We have studied for it about 12 years.
But, If we don't have a good condition for that day, we would be so embrassed of it.
It is also part of studying to make a good condition, but I don't like this system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello Nicole,
Thank you for submitting your composition. You are doing well. Keep it up!
~ T. Demi ^^


I want to see changes for national college entrance exam in our country education.
>>I want to see changes to the national college entrance exam in our country's education system.
Because it is only one chance to show our intelligence.
>> It is only one chance to demonstrate our intelligence.
We have studied for it about 12 years.
>> We have studied for it for about 12 years.
But, If we don't have a good condition for that day, we would be so embrassed of it.
>> However, if we are not in good condition on that day, we might feel very embarrassed.
It is also part of studying to make a good condition, but I don't like this system.
>> While preparing ourselves to be in good condition is part of studying, I still dislike this system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141193 What will make you a regular customer in a hotel? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1
141192 HOMEWORK FOR 11.27.2024 WRITING TASK: How can a person stay... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 3
141191 How can being brave help you in life? ¹è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1066
141190 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1339
141189 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1596
141188 What are you most excited about when it comes to opening your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1252
141187 Just in case, send the file and answer in 2 sentences together ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1352
141186 People admire the life of influencers at social media\'s feed. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 1203
141185 How much free time do you usually have every day? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 2
141184 My English book ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-27 3
141183 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1
141182 If you could switch careers with someone famous for a day, who... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1111
141181 Which country would be the most enjoyable to live in? What makes... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 4
141180 Which is the best activity for tourism, domestic or... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1384
141179 What is more important to take care of: mental health or... Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 4
141178 Hom work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1484
141177 What do you think is the best way to end a weekend? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1144
141176 How can we be good friends to others? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 2
141175 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 0
141174 How do you choose which movie to watch? By the genre? The... ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1515

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04