¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so that IELTS Speaking 6.5 or higher sc

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÀÎ
2024-12-09 962

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do schools in your country have music lessons?
Do a lot of people like music?
Do you think music education is important for children?
Do you think children should learn to play an instrument at school?
What musical instruments do you enjoy listening to the most?
Have you ever learned to play a musical instrument?
Yes, most schools in my country offer music lessons. Many people love music, and I believe music education is essential for children. It¡¯s also great if children can learn to play an instrument. I enjoy listening to the piano and guitar, and I¡¯ve tried learning the piano in the past.


Do you prefer to watch films at home or in the cinema?
How often do you watch films?
I prefer to watch films at home because it's more comfortable, and I can relax without distractions. I usually watch films once or twice a week, depending on my schedule.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for entrusting me to simplify your answers Young In. I hope you'll be able to remember all these responses. Good luck! 

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

Do schools in your country have music lessons?
Do a lot of people like music?
Do you think music education is important for children?
Do you think children should learn to play an instrument at school?
What musical instruments do you enjoy listening to the most?
Have you ever learned to play a musical instrument?

>>>Yes, most schools in my country have music lessons. Many people love music, and I think it¡¯s important for kids to learn. It¡¯s also great if they can play an instrument. I like listening and learning the piano and guitar.


Do you prefer to watch films at home or in the cinema?
How often do you watch films?

>>>I prefer watching films at home because it's more comfortable and I can relax without distractions. I usually watch films once or twice a week, depending on my schedule.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141460 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1
141459 What¡¯s the most fun exercise you¡¯ve ever tried? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1179
141458 \"How Meeting with Church Members Strengthens Bonds¡° ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1106
141457 what are some common reasons people feel guilty? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1095
141456 Who is responsible for the care of your health? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-12 1080
141455 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1126
141454 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1
141453 Is having a friend important? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 938
141452 Your efforts will never betray you ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 985
141451 How do you feel when you learn something new? Does it make you... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2
141450 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1029
141449 What¡¯s your favorite dessert to order when eating out? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 9
141448 What¡¯s your go-to breakfast when you¡¯re in a rush? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 9
141447 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1066
141446 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1277
141445 What does \'first impressions matter\' mean? Do you agree? ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 0
141444 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1166
141443 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 0
141442 snow ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1
141441 Would you rather stay over at a super fancy mansion or a cozy... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1037

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04